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On the subject of streaming art and productivity
13 years ago
So, maybe you've noticed or maybe you haven't, but I haven't streamed art in a long while. The reason is twofold:
One, I get nervous during it. Every time I prepped the submission to advertise I was streaming, I would have a knot in the pit of my stomach. It didn't really go away after I started either. I'm still only an amateur when it comes to the concepts of art and drawing, so knowing people watching me fiddle around and struggle with it doesn't sit well. This is why I have no problem streaming video games, because I've literally been playing them almost all my life. It's something familiar to me and I have no problem "showing it off".
Two, no one really watched / I can't stream at convenient times. The first night I ever streamed, I think I got like 20 people. that was a hell of a lot more than I was originally expecting. Then, the next night I think I had like 10 or 15 or something. Then the numbers just kept dwindling from there, and the last time I streamed, I think I had 2 viewers by the end of it. This happened to me before (way way back), back when streaming video games was a pretty new concept. I streamed video games one night and got like 40-50 people. Then the next night I got like 10-15. And then none, so I just stopped. This is what's happened now. There's also no convenient times where I can stream where I'm guaranteed to not be interrupted. It's either weekdays in the early morning to the afternoon or midnight. Yeah, not exactly convenient times for everyone. So, that's part of the reason why getting more than 5 viewers is a struggle.
The whole reason I'm bringing this up is because I was recently messaged by someone checking on the status of their commission; asking if I could/would stream it. At first, before I even opened the message, I read the subject and thought to myself that this person was pretty impatient because I thought it had only been a few days from when I accepted their payment(Even though I consider a few days with no other projects to work on to be too long to wait). But after I responded, I noticed that their first note saying what they wanted had been sent a week ago. A WEEK. Even though I had to deal with a day of shoveling and half a day of not having a monitor, it had been a week and I hadn't even started on it. This is unacceptable.
I'm not going to make any excuses, I've been procrastinating, plain and simple. so, I just want to apologize to anyone waiting for a commission from me right now, and anyone who felt they had to wait too long.
Sometimes, I just find it very tough to start things. Like, I know I need to draw and I want to draw, but...uhhh...lemme just go check Youtube to see if there's anything new. Oh, there is! Lemme just go watch it. Hmmm, this channel has a lot of funny stuff, I'll just watch a few more before I start. Now I'm hungry, lemme go see what's in the frdige. Oh hey, this TV show I like is on, I"ll just watch it for a few minutes. Oh, it's been a few hours now, I better start drawing now...but first lemme just browse this imageboard for 8 HOURS WITHOUT REALIZING IT.
So, yeah, shit like that happens when I want to draw or play video games or any other kind of "active" entertainment. Other times, it's the opposite. I just can't stop fucking drawing and everything takes a backseat to that. It's just kind of like "mood swings" I have.
But, bringing this journal full circle, I noticed I was always productive during streams. The nervousness actually made me productive. I felt there was no way I could take little breaks and browse an imageboard or Youtube for 5 minutes, because people were always watching. Because while I'm not under the watchful eyes of livestream viewers, that's how I am.
So, I don't know if I should start streaming again or not.
Also, this journal has also been another form of procrastination.
I should also really start drawing again but uhhh, there's a new retsupurae video...
One, I get nervous during it. Every time I prepped the submission to advertise I was streaming, I would have a knot in the pit of my stomach. It didn't really go away after I started either. I'm still only an amateur when it comes to the concepts of art and drawing, so knowing people watching me fiddle around and struggle with it doesn't sit well. This is why I have no problem streaming video games, because I've literally been playing them almost all my life. It's something familiar to me and I have no problem "showing it off".
Two, no one really watched / I can't stream at convenient times. The first night I ever streamed, I think I got like 20 people. that was a hell of a lot more than I was originally expecting. Then, the next night I think I had like 10 or 15 or something. Then the numbers just kept dwindling from there, and the last time I streamed, I think I had 2 viewers by the end of it. This happened to me before (way way back), back when streaming video games was a pretty new concept. I streamed video games one night and got like 40-50 people. Then the next night I got like 10-15. And then none, so I just stopped. This is what's happened now. There's also no convenient times where I can stream where I'm guaranteed to not be interrupted. It's either weekdays in the early morning to the afternoon or midnight. Yeah, not exactly convenient times for everyone. So, that's part of the reason why getting more than 5 viewers is a struggle.
The whole reason I'm bringing this up is because I was recently messaged by someone checking on the status of their commission; asking if I could/would stream it. At first, before I even opened the message, I read the subject and thought to myself that this person was pretty impatient because I thought it had only been a few days from when I accepted their payment(Even though I consider a few days with no other projects to work on to be too long to wait). But after I responded, I noticed that their first note saying what they wanted had been sent a week ago. A WEEK. Even though I had to deal with a day of shoveling and half a day of not having a monitor, it had been a week and I hadn't even started on it. This is unacceptable.
I'm not going to make any excuses, I've been procrastinating, plain and simple. so, I just want to apologize to anyone waiting for a commission from me right now, and anyone who felt they had to wait too long.
Sometimes, I just find it very tough to start things. Like, I know I need to draw and I want to draw, but...uhhh...lemme just go check Youtube to see if there's anything new. Oh, there is! Lemme just go watch it. Hmmm, this channel has a lot of funny stuff, I'll just watch a few more before I start. Now I'm hungry, lemme go see what's in the frdige. Oh hey, this TV show I like is on, I"ll just watch it for a few minutes. Oh, it's been a few hours now, I better start drawing now...but first lemme just browse this imageboard for 8 HOURS WITHOUT REALIZING IT.
So, yeah, shit like that happens when I want to draw or play video games or any other kind of "active" entertainment. Other times, it's the opposite. I just can't stop fucking drawing and everything takes a backseat to that. It's just kind of like "mood swings" I have.
But, bringing this journal full circle, I noticed I was always productive during streams. The nervousness actually made me productive. I felt there was no way I could take little breaks and browse an imageboard or Youtube for 5 minutes, because people were always watching. Because while I'm not under the watchful eyes of livestream viewers, that's how I am.
So, I don't know if I should start streaming again or not.
Also, this journal has also been another form of procrastination.
I should also really start drawing again but uhhh, there's a new retsupurae video...
Well, that's okay.
I'm the LAST person who can protest some procrastination.
Just let us know whatever you eventually decide on, okay?
It's been almost 3 weeks. Step up senpai.
Again im sorry and don't worry I didn't mean anything bad about my message.
No, no, no, no, no, nothing like that. Like I said, I thought it had only been a few days, but I let time slip away from me and realized it had been a week, and I was like "oh shit". So, no, you have done absolutely nothing wrong. And frankly, your PM didn't come off as impatient or anything at all.
Again, I apologize for taking so long with this, and will work on it when I have the time. I've actually been getting the itch to draw again...
Like I said take your time and let me know if your gonna stream! If I don't have to work I'd love to watch!
*petta pats* I need to 'show' Twitch what I think of his stealth :p
That's actually what I consider an adequate timeframe. It's something that I want to do from here on out; I don't like letting myself have stuff pile up for multiple reasons. I've just been dropping the ball recently, but whatever, I'll bounce back.