To those who know me, I am a very open and upfront guy. I will always speak my mind and let you know if somethings wrong. I have been known to run to the aid of my friends and help them without a second thought. You would think sense I give that amount of respect to all I come in contact with it that I would get the same in return. But lately that hasn't been the case.

I'm finding out that I'm almost the last person to contact. That I'm not being told when things happen like say if there's a group activity going on or just a simple last minute run for food. And I'm being lied to about said activities. By people I thought were my friends, who I had put trust in.

This throws me into a complete nervous breakdown. I have bad paranoia, like when I walk into a room my eyes are finding the best exit, wheres the best place to sit/stand, and are there any weapons. Its even worse when I start to doubt people. I start to feel alone and surrounded, that I can trust no one! It becomes a really bad problem that takes weeks to "solve" and right now it feels like a bad one, one that I haven't had in a while...

I hope its just me over thinking again and that I have better judgement in choosing the right people to trust but right now I am a mess and don't know, all these thoughts running around in my head...

So please, be honest with me ;-;