So, as some of you may know I've been working at Wal-mart as of late. Well, all that came to an end two weeks ago when the assignment ran out leaving me unemployed, income-less, and more than a little excited. Ideas flooded my head now that my days were free. I could go out and shoot. I could be more social again. I could go to camera club meetings. Things were looking good. A recharge period was just what the doctor ordered.

Then the temp agency called.

Drat.

They had a job for me working at 3M and while I disliked the idea of doing factory work, a job is nevertheless a job. So I took it. Thus, they brought me in and had me take a couple of tests. The first was simple pattern recognition. I breezed through it. The second...was something else entirely. A hodgepodge of mechanical knowledge questions ranging from the directions gears spin to the properties of magnets to the range of frequencies the human ear can detect and everything in between. And I do mean everything. Highlights included a question that showed a group of candles and asked which one would burn out first. A simple question except for the fact that one of them had a glass chimney around it like a kerosene lamp. Another picture presented five identical airplanes each with an arrow representing the wind direction. The question challenged us to determine which plane would fly the truest course. Given that I was fairly certain that I wouldn't be assembling aircraft I couldn't determine what the relevance of the question was. I still haven't.

Regardless, I passed the tests, which earned me a trip to the county seat for a vision and hearing test. As usual, I arrived early, which afforded me time to sit around and observe the facility. One thing leaped out at me. It looked about ten years out of date. Seriously, one of the bits of exercise equipment they had had the word "dyne" on it. You know it's out of date when it has that word attached to it. Anyways, the tests went smoothly. They had me read numbers out of a book, stuck me in a box and played sounds at me, and then expressed surprise when I couldn't read a vision chart at ten paces with my glasses off. Then they sprang a trap on me. Well, not really a trap but a surprise. And that surprise was - drum roll, please - a urine test! For those of you who don't know me that well (which is everyone) I am not the type that can just go into the little room and produce on demand. I need to be made aware of things so I can prepare. Fortunately, the staff was understanding and willing to wait. Six cups of water and an issue of Car and Driver late they got their sample. I passed with flying colors probably because the sample was so dilute you probably couldn't detect anything in it anyways.

Thus, with all the testing done and the necessary paper work sent in I settled back and waited. I was assured that things would be ready in time for me to start work by the end of the week.

I had to call them on Monday and ask what was going on. I was assured that all was well and I would probably start work on Wednesday. That was in the morning. In the afternoon, I got a call from the temp agency saying I could start work on Tuesday. This put me in a state of some shock and I only barely made it through the phone call. I agreed to come in at 9:30 AM, whereupon I would get a factory tour and some basic introductory training.

Which brings us to today. Things didn't start off too good as I set my alarm clock half an hour earlier than I needed to. Despite that and a not so sudden snow storm I made it to work on time. Introductions were made and paperwork filled out. Then a plant tour commenced, most of which I didn't understand as the place was noisy and I was generally the furthest from the speaker. After that we were given preliminary training. This came in the form of a slide show that took 127 slides to tell us where to go in an emergency and to not do anything stupid. I have never heard so many acronyms in my life.

After that I discovered that I was the only one in the group who was going to be staying for the remainder of the day. This surprise was dwarfed by an even bigger shock which I received shortly thereafter. We went to lunch whereupon I was informed that the lunch break was only twenty minutes long.

I'll say that again: the lunch break is only twenty minutes. I don't think I can even make it through a sandwich in that time. And here I was hoping I could get in some reading. Still, a job is a job and I shall persist.

Lunch was followed by me being trained at what I shall be doing. And that is - wait for it - making disposable sandpaper discs! Yay! My life's ambition is complete. Anyways, the machine used for the job consisted of two trays on rollers and a heating press in between. Each of the trays has a total thirty divots on it into which are placed the pieces of the disc. The tray is then pushed into the heating element, which presses down on them, binding them together. The tray is then removed, emptied out, and the process repeats. That is what I did for the rest of the day until 3:00 PM.

The job is expected to last for a year with the possibility of being extended for two more. After that, there's the chance that I could get hired on full time. For each month I work I get a free day off work for me to use at my discretion. This already has me making devious plans for later in the year. An interesting part of the job is that shifts rotate. At present I am to work from 7:00 AM to 3:00 PM. However, starting next week, I shall be working from 3:00 PM until 11:00 PM. From there on out the two will switch every two weeks. I can only imagine what that will do to my sleep schedule.