An ex-classmate shown me a very well said quote and since it also described my situation I decided to share this. Sorry, the english translation didn't came out the way like in hungarian version.

Én jó vagyok,ha van miért,
És hű vagyok,ha van kiért...
Én szeretek,ha kellemes,
És szenvedek, ha érdemes.

De jónak lenni semmiért,
És hűnek lenni senkiért?
Én várni erre nem tudok,
Hát csoda, hogy rossz vagyok?

- - -
english translation attempt:

I'm good if there's to be for,
I'm faithful if there's anyone to be for...
I love if it's pleasant,
I suffer if it's worth for.

But to be good for nothing,
and be faithful for nobody?
I can't wait for this,
Is it even a wonder I'm bad?

© to his respective owner