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Extreme tmi sexual journal
12 years ago
General
For those of you who don't care to hear about sexual thoughts please leave! I'm a very open person so talking about this stuff is kinda normal for me. Last chance. Final warning please leave if you are uncomfortable, and this goes for everyone!
So all my life I've been sort of bi-curious. Yes I think small, petite women (small breasts) are really cute and I'm sure if I was bi I'd go for a gal like that. But I have no idea if I really am bisexual or not. I've always wanted to make out or maybe more with a girl but never had the chance. The female body to me is really beautiful. Now if I love the female body, even at times get turned on, does that make me bi? My other thoughts are, I'm getting married soon.. should I even be having these thoughts?
It's been bugging me for a long, long time. And I know my mate and I have to really talk about this more. But long story short, I would really like to make out/touch a girl (in all honesty just with clothes on). Blunt I know. But it needs to be said. Atleast to me it does. I've had those thoughts since I was 11, cuddling my best friend in school during sleep overs. I think this really needs to get sorted out because I don't want to be frustrated all my life. Has anyone had the same thoughts? And honestly I feel very bad for even wanting to. Before being with my mate I was very close to hooking up with a girl.. But Benben pulled at my strings and we fell in love.
And like I said, my mate and I have a lot of talking to do before this is even considered. From what little talk we did have on the subject, he seems to be OK with it, he would just like to watch (lol, what non-gay guy wouldn't). But not sure if serious or just joking at this point.
Anyway.. Just my thoughts as I try so very hard to fall asleep. Con report of Vancoufur will be posted in the next few days I'm actually coming home tomorrow.
Extra tid-bit: I in no way want to *cheat*, which I consider is someone being sexual may it be real life, IM or text without all parties involved know and are ok with it. This is why I strictly do not allow adult roleplay in my chats unless its ok with my mate. I see this as cheating and deceiving.
So all my life I've been sort of bi-curious. Yes I think small, petite women (small breasts) are really cute and I'm sure if I was bi I'd go for a gal like that. But I have no idea if I really am bisexual or not. I've always wanted to make out or maybe more with a girl but never had the chance. The female body to me is really beautiful. Now if I love the female body, even at times get turned on, does that make me bi? My other thoughts are, I'm getting married soon.. should I even be having these thoughts?
It's been bugging me for a long, long time. And I know my mate and I have to really talk about this more. But long story short, I would really like to make out/touch a girl (in all honesty just with clothes on). Blunt I know. But it needs to be said. Atleast to me it does. I've had those thoughts since I was 11, cuddling my best friend in school during sleep overs. I think this really needs to get sorted out because I don't want to be frustrated all my life. Has anyone had the same thoughts? And honestly I feel very bad for even wanting to. Before being with my mate I was very close to hooking up with a girl.. But Benben pulled at my strings and we fell in love.
And like I said, my mate and I have a lot of talking to do before this is even considered. From what little talk we did have on the subject, he seems to be OK with it, he would just like to watch (lol, what non-gay guy wouldn't). But not sure if serious or just joking at this point.
Anyway.. Just my thoughts as I try so very hard to fall asleep. Con report of Vancoufur will be posted in the next few days I'm actually coming home tomorrow.
Extra tid-bit: I in no way want to *cheat*, which I consider is someone being sexual may it be real life, IM or text without all parties involved know and are ok with it. This is why I strictly do not allow adult roleplay in my chats unless its ok with my mate. I see this as cheating and deceiving.
I've always been bi-curious since I was in high school, but my attraction to the same sex wasn't strong enough to make me think deeply about it.
To this day, when it comes to reality, I think I'm just bi-curious. Though I have the occasional thoughts, I never follow through with them because like I said, my attraction isn't that strong.
Don't know if what I said helped, but... that's what I have to say.
But, to get to the point of this journal, almost every girl I've known has told me that they are or were bi-curious, and I usually ask them what is holding them back from finding out whether they like girls or not. Most of them have said that they are worried what their friends will think of them. I tell them that if their friends are truly someone they can trust, then it won't matter, because their like them because of who they are, not which gender they like.
Glad you are so open to talk about this and wish I was as open about stuff like this.
Find a girl that you can trust. explain to her this whole thing and ask if she would like to help you. explain to her everything that you are expecting and everything that could happen. if they are still ok with it then proceed.
First of all, find someone you find attractive. Ignore what your mate thinks is attractive. this is for you not for him. if you both like the same kinda girl them, thats good, but if hes into large breasts and you are an I.B.T. type of girl, then go for that. Dont TRY to find someone. Be open to the idea that you might find someone, but wait till you naturally find someone you like to be around and you are comfortable with. then if you find out about them enough to trust them and that they would be interested, go from there.
Try a furpile.
I think it's fun and enjoyable :3
But never meet anyone with whom I would like to try.
If you feel attraced to womans, I think you should try at least one time (of course after discussing it with your mate). It would help you to fing out are you bi or hetero.