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A word from my mentor about Global Warming
13 years ago
General
Hey, Wino Woody, what can you tell us about global warming?
Wino Woody:
>Puts on tinfoil hat<
>Drinks pint of Mad Dog<
>Spreads bread crumbs around to attract pigeons to act as audience<
>Pisses self<
>Climbs up on milk crate<
IT'S DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME WUT CAUSES IT!!
Think 'bout it, Everah year we goes on daylight savin's time for six months, the we goes back to regulah time the rest ah teh year.
WE NEVAH USE THEM DAYLIGHT HOURS WE'VE SAVED!
Think abowddit, we'd hafta go back TWO hours to use them hours we saved up, but we nevah do, WHAT's THE GIBBIMIT DOIN" WITH ALL THAT DAYLIGHT!?
They's storing it! Puttin' it all in big ol' underground silos out in teh midwest, an' tellin' everah one it's a noo-clear-ya nissles ta keep people from gettin sush-pick-shush!
AN' IT GETS WUSS!
Teh hole gawdam time them communists was running Russia, THEY WUZ ON DAYLIGHT SAVIN'S TIME TEH HULL TIME!! YAR IN AN' YAR OUT!! Jes' a-pilin' all that sunshine in big ol' warehouses in Siberia!
An now? AN' NOW?? I'LL TELL YOU 'BOUT NOW!!
The pas' twenny years er so, them silos aaaaaaan' warehouses is a startin' ta break down! All tha' extra sunshine's a bin leakin' owt, a heatin' things up, and NOW IT"S JES' GONNA GET WORSE!!
WE'S A GONNA DIE a heatstroke an' cancer, AN' TEH POLAR BEAR'S A GONNA GET US!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
>passes out and falls off milk crate<
..........
Ok, I'm sure you all found that as edifying as I have.
Check back again in about 30 days (He should out of rehab and back on the street again by then) When I'll see if I can't get him to enlighten us another topic.
Wino Woody:
>Puts on tinfoil hat<
>Drinks pint of Mad Dog<
>Spreads bread crumbs around to attract pigeons to act as audience<
>Pisses self<
>Climbs up on milk crate<
IT'S DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME WUT CAUSES IT!!
Think 'bout it, Everah year we goes on daylight savin's time for six months, the we goes back to regulah time the rest ah teh year.
WE NEVAH USE THEM DAYLIGHT HOURS WE'VE SAVED!
Think abowddit, we'd hafta go back TWO hours to use them hours we saved up, but we nevah do, WHAT's THE GIBBIMIT DOIN" WITH ALL THAT DAYLIGHT!?
They's storing it! Puttin' it all in big ol' underground silos out in teh midwest, an' tellin' everah one it's a noo-clear-ya nissles ta keep people from gettin sush-pick-shush!
AN' IT GETS WUSS!
Teh hole gawdam time them communists was running Russia, THEY WUZ ON DAYLIGHT SAVIN'S TIME TEH HULL TIME!! YAR IN AN' YAR OUT!! Jes' a-pilin' all that sunshine in big ol' warehouses in Siberia!
An now? AN' NOW?? I'LL TELL YOU 'BOUT NOW!!
The pas' twenny years er so, them silos aaaaaaan' warehouses is a startin' ta break down! All tha' extra sunshine's a bin leakin' owt, a heatin' things up, and NOW IT"S JES' GONNA GET WORSE!!
WE'S A GONNA DIE a heatstroke an' cancer, AN' TEH POLAR BEAR'S A GONNA GET US!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
>passes out and falls off milk crate<
..........
Ok, I'm sure you all found that as edifying as I have.
Check back again in about 30 days (He should out of rehab and back on the street again by then) When I'll see if I can't get him to enlighten us another topic.
