I come back home for the weekend... well I have a complicated situation...
I hang out with one of my ex girlfriends... well we were more fuck buddies and best friends. we talk and talk, drive around town, eat dinner and talk some more. Well she is getting ready to deport to the military in july... I gave her a last hug..... and my heart broke.... she means so god damn much to me... I don't want to tell her cause I know the military is her dream, and I do not want to be the one that makes her stay back... I got back into my car and drove away, as soon as I was out of sight of her house, my face broke into tears. I hate letting her go... she is truly, truly one of a fucking kind. I don't even know why this affects me now... cause I moved to denver and never thought about her... but she was always there if I needed her.. I have been in love before... is this the kind of love where she is 'the one'. She says we will see eachother again, but something in my mind is saying that we won't... It crushes me..
I let go of something too damn good to pass up.... and it's all because I am a fucking bastard. I want to tell her how I feel about her, but this is just.. yeah...