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Hold me, please...
17 years ago
General
Today I saw Gabe off to VA. And you know what? For the first time I realized I may not see him again. I broke down there in the parking lot on the way out. Even now as I type this... *sighs* Why is it we never truly realize what we have until it's gone? I just need...a hug. I need someone, something to take the pain away (don't worry, I'm not suicidal nor a drug/alcohol abuser, just saying). Every little thing reminds me of him or a memory of us. He's been living with me the past couple of weeks in Mt. Pleasant up until now just because we wanted to spend as much time together as possible before he had to leave for VA. I couldn't let him stay with me...I just couldn't. It'd be too soon and too complicated, but he wasn't happy in Flint and couldn't live there anymore. He needed out. Now I find myself regretting that decision. He left a lot of stuff with me because he couldn't bring it with him on the bus. One includes a giant stuffed animal. My bed is going to be so cold and lonely at night. Gah I can't even type right now. I miss him so much... :'(
I know what you're going through, Dave and I lived in different states for a few months - it was, shall we say, not pleasant :(
I know that nothing I say will be of any comfort, but I can offer advice from experience - for the first few weeks, don't let yourself be idle. Always try to be doing something. Anything. Wash dishes. Clean floors. Go for a walk. Read a book (make sure it's an exciting or otherwise interesting book). Play video games. Above all, do not just sit around idly feeling sorry for yourself - it makes things ten times worse. Try, if possible, to wear yourself out before bedtime, because those long nights just seem to be so much longer when you can't fall asleep and your mind is full of less-than-cheerful thoughts.
I'm glad Gabe left some stuff with you - I haven't told anyone this, but when Dave and I were living apart, I stole one of his shirts from his laundry and slept with it under my pillow - it smelled like him, and it was strangely comforting. :)