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Dead...sorta...(Rant)
12 years ago
Dear Diary;
Ok, contrary to the title...I'm still around...just been really busy and stressed, think if I don't learn to relax a bit I'm going to have a heart attack (j.k...only partially...I may end up with one if I keep letting things build and don't chill out...)
The sad thing I don't know why I'm stressing as much as I am...I know I shouldn't be but it just feels that as soon as I get something good things come crumbling down in a tramatic way...always has been that way in my life. What I mean is, I just got full time at work...I'm doing OK at that. (Could be doing better if I shook all this stress off my shoulders but I'm getting to why I feel this way...maybe someone can smack me into reality!). But it just feels like no matter what I do at work I do something (small) wrong and make some one...(patrons on board my bus) mad. (Mind you I AM NOT DOING IT WRONG! They want me to do it wrong to help them out.). Guess being the good guy sucks.
Then, I also have a few other personal matters with my IRL family that have been hounding me. On top of money management (not cause of my spending but once again I'm killing myself for family....)
And to make matters worse yet...I can feel my health dropping weekly...my body is getting weaker. My jaw hurts more and more (Need to get those damn wisdom teeth out)...and I know I'm not eating like I should...(at least not daily since work is pulling so much of me it's hard to cook or sit down to eat a decent meal.
Oh well...I guess I needed to rant...and let you guys know I'm not dead...at least not yet. (Still believe I'm too mean for Heaven and Hell thinks I will take over. >:3 )
(Also there is more to this...I just don't want to type it all here cause I don't want everyone in my business...I normally keep things like this off FA...but right now I just a vent...THIS WILL BE DELETED...probably after I wake up. Unless I get some good advice on what chill pills work. AKA methods of relaxing...I've tried everything from sparing to meditation...from Biking to driving. I've even taken a walk through the woods...but so far I can't shake off the feeling of certain doom on my shoulders...)
The sad thing I don't know why I'm stressing as much as I am...I know I shouldn't be but it just feels that as soon as I get something good things come crumbling down in a tramatic way...always has been that way in my life. What I mean is, I just got full time at work...I'm doing OK at that. (Could be doing better if I shook all this stress off my shoulders but I'm getting to why I feel this way...maybe someone can smack me into reality!). But it just feels like no matter what I do at work I do something (small) wrong and make some one...(patrons on board my bus) mad. (Mind you I AM NOT DOING IT WRONG! They want me to do it wrong to help them out.). Guess being the good guy sucks.
Then, I also have a few other personal matters with my IRL family that have been hounding me. On top of money management (not cause of my spending but once again I'm killing myself for family....)
And to make matters worse yet...I can feel my health dropping weekly...my body is getting weaker. My jaw hurts more and more (Need to get those damn wisdom teeth out)...and I know I'm not eating like I should...(at least not daily since work is pulling so much of me it's hard to cook or sit down to eat a decent meal.
Oh well...I guess I needed to rant...and let you guys know I'm not dead...at least not yet. (Still believe I'm too mean for Heaven and Hell thinks I will take over. >:3 )
(Also there is more to this...I just don't want to type it all here cause I don't want everyone in my business...I normally keep things like this off FA...but right now I just a vent...THIS WILL BE DELETED...probably after I wake up. Unless I get some good advice on what chill pills work. AKA methods of relaxing...I've tried everything from sparing to meditation...from Biking to driving. I've even taken a walk through the woods...but so far I can't shake off the feeling of certain doom on my shoulders...)
There are free dental clinics that make the rounds in many states. You'll have to get in line at 2 a.m., but if you're lucky and there's one within driving distance coming up soon, it will take a weight off of you. And a more comfortable jaw = more pleasure in everything else.
I have nothing but respect for bus drivers, Aurora.
Thanks Azi *hugs tight*
Also, Mac 'n' Cheese + Bacon Bits, num!
Should I make you and Jordan dinner some night soon? :)
I can make my famous Mac and Cheese :D
Though the good news is I'm going in to talk to my manager about maybe getting a scholarship and seeing where I can move with in the company.
Also, I have no objections to Mac n Cheese I'll even pay for it!!! Jordan how ever may not touch it unless you drop some bacon in it. Freaking wolves and their love for meat xD
All I ask is that you please takecare of yourself in every way possible