It's been a couple months since my last journal, haven't had much reason to, or desire. Too many things going on, too much drama, to much pain..

A week ago, Saturday morning at 7 AM local time, after some few days in intensive care, and a stay in a nursing home, Ruth Tomlin, my grandmother, joined her husband, Hugh Tomlin, in the silence of eternal sleep.. This is the second death of someone close to me in just a few short months, and I'm still not sure how to take it, but I'm happy that they weren't long apart..

I've been trying to get some personal time with friends or family where I'm able, but nothing really seems to shake the lingering guilt of the whole situation.. I hadn't gotten to see either of them in more than a decade, and now I can't.. I waited too long, and all I can think about is 'If only I'd talked to them more.'

Each death was accompanied by personal drama that has made it all but impossible to concentrate on anything meaningful, or personal, and while I may not have shown it outwardly, I've been deeply depressed and in need of.. Something.. The furmeet on Saturday last week was a minor relief, and got my mind off things, but I still feel overwhelmed, and have been moody and easily upset the past couple of days.

I'm taking some time for my self, heading out of town for a 4 day weekend with distant friends.. I'll be driving a lot, something I always enjoy, which also means I'll be largely out of contact on all my messengers, and SecondLife. Even while I'm there, I won't be on-line much.. I'll be taking my laptop for music and internet, as well as my phone, but again, this is my time off.. I may not reply right away, or at all.

I love you all, and please don't worry.. I've toughed out worse than this, I just need a little time to pull myself back together.