I'm in the process of working my butt off to get a car. yes, money from commissions helps, but I just can't focus on drawing when I'm tired and stressed from work. I only get 2 days off a week now, someone quit after finding another job, so my hours are picking up. I need to look for a car every day online, I can't get the promotion I need unless I have one, which is retarded, because if I had the promotion, I technically wouldn't need a car till after summer when our new stores open up.

I need the job to pay for the car, but I need the car to get the job.
I hate life circles like that.

but yeah, I just can't right now. I barely draw at all anymore because I'm working so hard, then I get home and just want to relax. and on those days off I'm doing chores and laundry and food shopping, so I don't have time.

no one has paid me for their sketches. no one waiting has paid me either. so in that sense I owe no one anything. that's really the only reason I'm even able to cancel, otherwise I'd be forcing myself to spit out half assed work in order to get it off my chest.

I'm sure you guys are thinking "haha nice one Ichi April fools!" but no

this isn't a prank, I'm really making this decision. I had been thinking about it for a while and had mentioned earlier I might cancel. well now I am.

unfortunately, I have a real life now, and responsibilities and bills and such that I need to take care of. I don't have time for drawing furry porn etc.

not to mention I'm like...growing out of it? IDK I don't get the same joy I used to from drawing animal dicks and such. its just a hassle now.


I'm focusing on my future for real for the first time. I know what I wanna do with my life and I know how I'm going to get it. it's just a matter of priorities.

Will I still do art? of course. just not the commissions I've taken it's too hard for me to just go back to them before I moved in with Aressa, drawing non-stop every day was easy, I had a shitty job and it was my only source of income. but now my life is in order. I have no debt and I have a promotion with my name on it, an increased paycheck, and only a year or so afterwards I can get the house of my dreams, and over time I can slowly start my mini-ranch and live the life I wanted.

I have my priorities in order. I don't need to draw for money anymore.

but I do still get the urges to draw. and when I do, I will probably do a stream for donation or something, or not, I might just start doing simple free requests, or YCHs like Aressa is doing(she has more free time than me).

I think it's just going to be easier if I make the decisions for a while.

I've always sacrificed what I wanted and given to everyone else. for once I can see what I want and it's in my reach, so I'm going to focus on me.

I hope no one is mad at me for this. but let me put it this way.

if your dream was right in front of you, what would you pick? drawing porn for money, or that dream?


I doubt anyone would pick drawing porn in my situation.


(I only say drawing porn as a general term, I know not all of my commissions are porn, don't get all huffy)