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That time in which my life was a giant stress-fest...
13 years ago
General
Which would be pretty much the past few months.
So if you've read previous journals, you would know about the family I worked for for the past 2 years, and how they had to move at the end of January. I was in a frenzy to find work for about 2 months (December and January) trying to set up a job for when that job ended. I got hired by another family 2 days later and I was excited because I thought I had a stable job once more, and for a nice family. Hooray, things were going to calm down!
.... Murphy's Law, if you think everything is going well, you obviously have no idea what the hell is going on. As it turns out, these people were Grade A crazy-people. Very smart people... But..nuts. There were many doctors in the family (mom- dentist, father- lawyer(not a doctor, but still), grandmother-audiologist, grandfather- oral surgeon , great aunt- pediatric neuroscientist , plus many other doctors that were relatives.) yes, one should be proud of the success of such a family, so I understand that. But apparently because I was not a doctor, or lawyer, or whathaveyou, I definitely felt an air of dissent from some of the people in the family. The mother and father of the child seemed nice enough, the grandmother (on moms side) was nice... But very..overprotective and involved. Then there was 'Aunt Val' who was the aunt of the mother of the child. Who I was apparently going to work with on Fridays, assisting her with her grandchildren. On Thursdays I was to work at the Grandmothers house, to help her watch him. And Mondays and Wednesdays would be at the apartment where the child and his parents lived. My schedule was also very...random. I knew days, but the times changed constantly , and I didn't know my schedule day-to-day. I was willing to be flexible though. They were only looking for part time and insisted on hiring me even though I needed a full-time salary, because they said they really liked me.
Well, I was willing to put up with the craziness, to a point. I endured the paranoid craziness that came along with the child entering into the phase of separation anxiety. (He was 13 months old, this is pretty normal at that age.) and even though this is normal... They freaked the first time it happened... 6 calls in 2 hours from both the child's mother, and grandmother. Which every time he heard their voices through the phone, he began freaking out again. If they had just let us be, he would have calmed down, but no. Between the two of them flipping out the entire time, and the poor kid going berserk every time a call came in, when they said they wanted him to go with his grandparents for the night, I didn't fight them. It was the only way to get them to calm down. The grandmother many times talked to me as if I have never taken care of a child... "You know never to leave him alone when taking a bath, right??? And you don't fill up the tub too high, do you??? I don't like him being bouyant!! I DO NOT like him being buoyant! I asked B if it was a good idea to let you bathe him because you have to be so careful with kids and water...." (Oh no, I haven't been a nanny for 7 years, or anything. I assumed at 13 months the child could swim and bathe himself.... Oh please, lady...) but I never said a word, I just agreed with her and reiterated how cautious I am.
Then Aunt Val... She was a TREAT. "I'll write you a check dear, on Fridays. You do have a social security number, don't you dear?" Oh my, I suppose my thick accent gave me away! (The only accent I have, is a Chicago accent. ) but yeah. That was a first. But stuff with her was the big catalyst here.
3 weeks ago, Saturday, I was asked (when I was at Val's house on Friday) if I could come over at 8:15am to meet her granddaughters. I said I could, she said it would be until 11am at the latest, so I knew I could still make it to my allergist appointment at noon. So Saturday morning, I get up early, and leave the house around 7:40am (she lives in Tinley Park) at 7:55am my phone rings. Val assumes I hadn't left my house yet and says "I'm not sure if they're coming over, it might be around 9 or not at all, let me call you back in half an hour." I avoid telling her I'm halfway there, since I didn't want her to feel bad. I pull off into a parking lot and wait.....and wait... And wait... At 9:00am (an hour and 5 minutes later..) I get a call from Val's husband " my granddaughters aren't coming this morning so we don't need you, if things change we will call you later to see if you're available." I go home and stall for my appointment. I get a call from Val at 11:00am. "My granddaughters came over! Can you come by for an hour to meet them?" I try to tell her I can't , that I have a doctor appointment....there's a pause "...well you didn't tell me that, dear. We talked about this and you said you were free today and that you would meet them since you didn't work the whole day yesterday. " I explain that I figured I could still get to my appointment since she originally talked about 8:15-11am. She tells me to think about coming after and to call her....I call her back about 15 minutes later and get her husband. I apologize and tell him I have other obligations and cannot come.
Then when B asks about how this weekend went, if I met the girls, I explained this. She says it wasnt fair and calls her mom. Her mom calls her sister (Val) and she tells a different story, that she asked me if I had left the house yet and that I said "no i didn't " (there was no such exchange) and when I told her about stuff today (Val) she lies to me and says " oh no dear, I was up at 6:30 am and I called you an hour and a half before you would have to be here. I made sure to give you plenty of notice before you would have left" ......bullshit, she called 20 minutes before I had to be there and I live 40 minutes away. Do the math.
I wake up to a voicemail 2 weeks ago, wednesday, from Val. " this week we're going to need to split the hours between Friday and Saturday, and I'm not sure about Sunday yet." ...now wait a sec here, I signed up for Friday, not the whole damn weekend. I will not be yanked around and working 7 days a week because they think I'm some sort of slave. I call B first, to see if I was misinformed, as far as I knew, it was supposed to just be Fridays. And they're the ones who had planned bringing the aunt into this. So I just express that I believe my time should be respected and that I had not expected to work the whole weekend. (I didn't know if this was a one time thing or if she was going to pull this all the time.) B says she understands, and calls her mom. She calls me back and advises me to call her aunt back. So I do. Val gets her condescending tone on and tells me " oh dear, we talked about this, and how I need the flexibility. I am a very busy woman and I need someone who can be flexible and if I say "I need you here on a Saturday" you can say " yes doctor, I will be there for you on Saturday." If you were looking for a set Monday -Friday with very occasional weekends, I'm not your person. I need that flexibility. I assumed you said you could because your boyfriend isn't living here right now and you're single and have more time. Think about it and just be honest with me dear. Get back to me tomorrow evening and tell me what you think."
About 20 minutes after I get off with Val, B calls. She says " this is just too stressful... I have been on the phone for the past hour on and all. My mom has been late for patients, she's getting upset with me, my aunt Val is getting frustrated. And this is just too much stress. This was supposed to make my life less stressful and easier, and it seems like you're more concerned with your time being respected. This is just too much stress and I think it would be best if we just ended it here. I will send you a check for the week, but I just think this is best...we have babysitters and it's just easier." ...I tried to explain I didn't have a problem being flexible for her, that I didn't feel she was being disrespectful of my time (trying to hint my issue was with her aunt, not her) but her mind was made up... She rushed me off the phone and wished me luck finding something.. And that was it. (Somewhere in there she said "also, when Brian cries when I leave it's stressing me out at work." Even though this is a normal thing, and 10 minutes later I'd send her a pic of him smiling to see that he was ok. That wasnt enough clearly it just meant that I was imcompetant. I hope he's giving them hell with the other babysitters...)
So there you have it. I am suddenly unemployed and for a really stupid reason. At first I was really upset, and even depressed... I have NEVER been fired before and it's hard to not feel that you're at fault somewhere. Now I'm just mad for them being unfair. But I suppose it's the kick in the butt I need to try another line of work for a while. I could use a job with benefits, and more of set schedule, and I want to be somewhere that I'm respected and valued for what I do. Currently I'm doing some research on becoming a dog groomer. I'd need to get a part time gig along with going to some sort of grooming school, and my friend works at a big hospital that employs groomers and groomers assistants (also, they offer amazing benefits, even for part timers!) so I'm a little more optimistic as I consider this :) what else can you do but try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try to sort things out once again.
Also, since I am staring to get things sorted out, I'm going to try to throw myself back into commissions. I feel like now that Darren is finally up here (one big bright spot here, Darren moved up to Illinois on Tuesday of last week!) I'm feeling more motivated to really try to get back into being productive.
I will try to keep you guys more up to date, I guess I was just... Very stressed, upset, and a little ashamed to have to come on here and announce that I lost my job and was trying to figure out what to do with myself. It's hard being a good 'artist' at the same time when my ability to create is so heavily tied to my stress levels. But I really am going to try to dedicate time to this 'job' here while I sort the rest out. I feel like I'm dealing with the bulk of the issue, which was the top priority. But believe me guys, not a day goes by when I don't think about my commissions and commissioners and feel guilty about not working. But I don't do good work when I'm so stressed out, and you guys deserve nothing less than my best effort. I won't just crank out crappy art to cross names off my list. I hope that makes sense, and that you understand.
Also, thanks to anyone who reads this long mess of a journal :P
So if you've read previous journals, you would know about the family I worked for for the past 2 years, and how they had to move at the end of January. I was in a frenzy to find work for about 2 months (December and January) trying to set up a job for when that job ended. I got hired by another family 2 days later and I was excited because I thought I had a stable job once more, and for a nice family. Hooray, things were going to calm down!
.... Murphy's Law, if you think everything is going well, you obviously have no idea what the hell is going on. As it turns out, these people were Grade A crazy-people. Very smart people... But..nuts. There were many doctors in the family (mom- dentist, father- lawyer(not a doctor, but still), grandmother-audiologist, grandfather- oral surgeon , great aunt- pediatric neuroscientist , plus many other doctors that were relatives.) yes, one should be proud of the success of such a family, so I understand that. But apparently because I was not a doctor, or lawyer, or whathaveyou, I definitely felt an air of dissent from some of the people in the family. The mother and father of the child seemed nice enough, the grandmother (on moms side) was nice... But very..overprotective and involved. Then there was 'Aunt Val' who was the aunt of the mother of the child. Who I was apparently going to work with on Fridays, assisting her with her grandchildren. On Thursdays I was to work at the Grandmothers house, to help her watch him. And Mondays and Wednesdays would be at the apartment where the child and his parents lived. My schedule was also very...random. I knew days, but the times changed constantly , and I didn't know my schedule day-to-day. I was willing to be flexible though. They were only looking for part time and insisted on hiring me even though I needed a full-time salary, because they said they really liked me.
Well, I was willing to put up with the craziness, to a point. I endured the paranoid craziness that came along with the child entering into the phase of separation anxiety. (He was 13 months old, this is pretty normal at that age.) and even though this is normal... They freaked the first time it happened... 6 calls in 2 hours from both the child's mother, and grandmother. Which every time he heard their voices through the phone, he began freaking out again. If they had just let us be, he would have calmed down, but no. Between the two of them flipping out the entire time, and the poor kid going berserk every time a call came in, when they said they wanted him to go with his grandparents for the night, I didn't fight them. It was the only way to get them to calm down. The grandmother many times talked to me as if I have never taken care of a child... "You know never to leave him alone when taking a bath, right??? And you don't fill up the tub too high, do you??? I don't like him being bouyant!! I DO NOT like him being buoyant! I asked B if it was a good idea to let you bathe him because you have to be so careful with kids and water...." (Oh no, I haven't been a nanny for 7 years, or anything. I assumed at 13 months the child could swim and bathe himself.... Oh please, lady...) but I never said a word, I just agreed with her and reiterated how cautious I am.
Then Aunt Val... She was a TREAT. "I'll write you a check dear, on Fridays. You do have a social security number, don't you dear?" Oh my, I suppose my thick accent gave me away! (The only accent I have, is a Chicago accent. ) but yeah. That was a first. But stuff with her was the big catalyst here.
3 weeks ago, Saturday, I was asked (when I was at Val's house on Friday) if I could come over at 8:15am to meet her granddaughters. I said I could, she said it would be until 11am at the latest, so I knew I could still make it to my allergist appointment at noon. So Saturday morning, I get up early, and leave the house around 7:40am (she lives in Tinley Park) at 7:55am my phone rings. Val assumes I hadn't left my house yet and says "I'm not sure if they're coming over, it might be around 9 or not at all, let me call you back in half an hour." I avoid telling her I'm halfway there, since I didn't want her to feel bad. I pull off into a parking lot and wait.....and wait... And wait... At 9:00am (an hour and 5 minutes later..) I get a call from Val's husband " my granddaughters aren't coming this morning so we don't need you, if things change we will call you later to see if you're available." I go home and stall for my appointment. I get a call from Val at 11:00am. "My granddaughters came over! Can you come by for an hour to meet them?" I try to tell her I can't , that I have a doctor appointment....there's a pause "...well you didn't tell me that, dear. We talked about this and you said you were free today and that you would meet them since you didn't work the whole day yesterday. " I explain that I figured I could still get to my appointment since she originally talked about 8:15-11am. She tells me to think about coming after and to call her....I call her back about 15 minutes later and get her husband. I apologize and tell him I have other obligations and cannot come.
Then when B asks about how this weekend went, if I met the girls, I explained this. She says it wasnt fair and calls her mom. Her mom calls her sister (Val) and she tells a different story, that she asked me if I had left the house yet and that I said "no i didn't " (there was no such exchange) and when I told her about stuff today (Val) she lies to me and says " oh no dear, I was up at 6:30 am and I called you an hour and a half before you would have to be here. I made sure to give you plenty of notice before you would have left" ......bullshit, she called 20 minutes before I had to be there and I live 40 minutes away. Do the math.
I wake up to a voicemail 2 weeks ago, wednesday, from Val. " this week we're going to need to split the hours between Friday and Saturday, and I'm not sure about Sunday yet." ...now wait a sec here, I signed up for Friday, not the whole damn weekend. I will not be yanked around and working 7 days a week because they think I'm some sort of slave. I call B first, to see if I was misinformed, as far as I knew, it was supposed to just be Fridays. And they're the ones who had planned bringing the aunt into this. So I just express that I believe my time should be respected and that I had not expected to work the whole weekend. (I didn't know if this was a one time thing or if she was going to pull this all the time.) B says she understands, and calls her mom. She calls me back and advises me to call her aunt back. So I do. Val gets her condescending tone on and tells me " oh dear, we talked about this, and how I need the flexibility. I am a very busy woman and I need someone who can be flexible and if I say "I need you here on a Saturday" you can say " yes doctor, I will be there for you on Saturday." If you were looking for a set Monday -Friday with very occasional weekends, I'm not your person. I need that flexibility. I assumed you said you could because your boyfriend isn't living here right now and you're single and have more time. Think about it and just be honest with me dear. Get back to me tomorrow evening and tell me what you think."
About 20 minutes after I get off with Val, B calls. She says " this is just too stressful... I have been on the phone for the past hour on and all. My mom has been late for patients, she's getting upset with me, my aunt Val is getting frustrated. And this is just too much stress. This was supposed to make my life less stressful and easier, and it seems like you're more concerned with your time being respected. This is just too much stress and I think it would be best if we just ended it here. I will send you a check for the week, but I just think this is best...we have babysitters and it's just easier." ...I tried to explain I didn't have a problem being flexible for her, that I didn't feel she was being disrespectful of my time (trying to hint my issue was with her aunt, not her) but her mind was made up... She rushed me off the phone and wished me luck finding something.. And that was it. (Somewhere in there she said "also, when Brian cries when I leave it's stressing me out at work." Even though this is a normal thing, and 10 minutes later I'd send her a pic of him smiling to see that he was ok. That wasnt enough clearly it just meant that I was imcompetant. I hope he's giving them hell with the other babysitters...)
So there you have it. I am suddenly unemployed and for a really stupid reason. At first I was really upset, and even depressed... I have NEVER been fired before and it's hard to not feel that you're at fault somewhere. Now I'm just mad for them being unfair. But I suppose it's the kick in the butt I need to try another line of work for a while. I could use a job with benefits, and more of set schedule, and I want to be somewhere that I'm respected and valued for what I do. Currently I'm doing some research on becoming a dog groomer. I'd need to get a part time gig along with going to some sort of grooming school, and my friend works at a big hospital that employs groomers and groomers assistants (also, they offer amazing benefits, even for part timers!) so I'm a little more optimistic as I consider this :) what else can you do but try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try to sort things out once again.
Also, since I am staring to get things sorted out, I'm going to try to throw myself back into commissions. I feel like now that Darren is finally up here (one big bright spot here, Darren moved up to Illinois on Tuesday of last week!) I'm feeling more motivated to really try to get back into being productive.
I will try to keep you guys more up to date, I guess I was just... Very stressed, upset, and a little ashamed to have to come on here and announce that I lost my job and was trying to figure out what to do with myself. It's hard being a good 'artist' at the same time when my ability to create is so heavily tied to my stress levels. But I really am going to try to dedicate time to this 'job' here while I sort the rest out. I feel like I'm dealing with the bulk of the issue, which was the top priority. But believe me guys, not a day goes by when I don't think about my commissions and commissioners and feel guilty about not working. But I don't do good work when I'm so stressed out, and you guys deserve nothing less than my best effort. I won't just crank out crappy art to cross names off my list. I hope that makes sense, and that you understand.
Also, thanks to anyone who reads this long mess of a journal :P
Hopefully things look up again soon. Glad to hear Darren has joined you now, as well.
Thankfully you're no longer alone though, that's excellent. :3 And here's me wishing that a better job shows up soon enough, it's not really that good or rewarding to live just to work. ^^;
And I know I say this every time but, there's no need to worry about us. Your life comes first and we can wait as long as we need to.