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Foward Thinking
12 years ago
I write to you, simply because.
I wanted to write to you about journeys throughout my life but I think I should talk of life within recent times. As you know, I'm still attending college, trying to find my way in this world. I'm always a believer that education would show me the way to a happier, more fulfilling life. I attend college, religiously.
I haven't quite earned my Associate's Degree which is suppose to be a two year certification, an embarrassment of mine. Although from what I've gathered throughout all these years, there isn't really a race to these things, time seems to be irrelevant. Only that, in that within us all lies a spirit of will and over time and time again does it surface among us all.
I admit, I've felt defeated from time to time, giving in to my shattered dreams, but for some reason I seem to have an eye for shattered dreams. Piecing them up together again much like a mosaic glass, always reconfiguring them into something more refined, something more beautiful than before. I imagine that eventually it will all turn to sand, and that must be returned to the Earth from which we came from but while this sand is mine, while I still have grasp of what I can make out of it, I feel that in this moment that I would like to simply give you bits of sand, time, love, or whatever you want to call it to show you on a level that there is hope, for.. well.. anything.
I'm so close, I can just feel being close to making my life-term goal, well, at least a step closer to it anyway. Truly, a B.A. or a Master's and even PHD would be ideal but I'm many years away and I don't quite want to fall prey to loans/debt/etc.
Moving on, I wanted to bring up about my family. My family that I've been wanting to run away from all these years. I can't quite explain what has been happening throughout the past months or weeks, but there's been a huge shift, a change I never thought I saw before. Perhaps my investment in my family is actually paying off. I can't tell you the heartache I've been through with them but in the end, I've managed to be a lot closer with my parents. As I've been telling them of my struggles and fears, of being lied and deceived, and even robbed of. After time of telling them the amount of damage they're doing to myself and siblings, they've finally opened up! I suppose that after many days and many nights, they see that I've come through on them, despite how much I have lost.
I've learned a lot, a lot of anger has been express but I find that as long as you're able to talk, resolve, forgive and forget then the possibilities are endless. I have moved on and I only found love and respect everywhere that I go. And I only wish that I can share of this brotherly love and hope so that you, too, can be inspired and continue onward in finding your way among these parts of the universe.
I think it's easy to say that work has been the root of where a lot of changing has been taking place. For the better and worse, I can say I'm quite happy here. It doesn't pay much, nor do I plan to make a career out of it, but I certainly can't complain about it whenever I compare my place with other workers. I think what has really made it pay off are the people I have met that I probably would have never come across in this life. So I always tend to get all sorts of views and perspective in all walks of life. I truly just love how well respected and the silly humorous that goes on.
Sometimes I just feel that I'm not really on the same page with some people as I thought I would be. I realize that I can't really be friends with whoever I want to be, it just simply happens, and whether or not I'm worthy is something that is out of my control. Such is life, I've always been misunderstood, and I'm okay with that. I think I can finally understand and accept this.
Anyhow, I see that I am living right now, this is my life, while I can't do everything that I want, I'm learning to be happy with what I got. Of course I dream a better tomorrow, but the day isn't over yet, and I still have plenty of time to get to my destination. Worse case scenario, I tried, right? ;]
Welp, take care everybody, best wishes to you all!
~FW.FR.RD
F(W.R.)R.D.
Foward.
I wanted to write to you about journeys throughout my life but I think I should talk of life within recent times. As you know, I'm still attending college, trying to find my way in this world. I'm always a believer that education would show me the way to a happier, more fulfilling life. I attend college, religiously.
I haven't quite earned my Associate's Degree which is suppose to be a two year certification, an embarrassment of mine. Although from what I've gathered throughout all these years, there isn't really a race to these things, time seems to be irrelevant. Only that, in that within us all lies a spirit of will and over time and time again does it surface among us all.
I admit, I've felt defeated from time to time, giving in to my shattered dreams, but for some reason I seem to have an eye for shattered dreams. Piecing them up together again much like a mosaic glass, always reconfiguring them into something more refined, something more beautiful than before. I imagine that eventually it will all turn to sand, and that must be returned to the Earth from which we came from but while this sand is mine, while I still have grasp of what I can make out of it, I feel that in this moment that I would like to simply give you bits of sand, time, love, or whatever you want to call it to show you on a level that there is hope, for.. well.. anything.
I'm so close, I can just feel being close to making my life-term goal, well, at least a step closer to it anyway. Truly, a B.A. or a Master's and even PHD would be ideal but I'm many years away and I don't quite want to fall prey to loans/debt/etc.
Moving on, I wanted to bring up about my family. My family that I've been wanting to run away from all these years. I can't quite explain what has been happening throughout the past months or weeks, but there's been a huge shift, a change I never thought I saw before. Perhaps my investment in my family is actually paying off. I can't tell you the heartache I've been through with them but in the end, I've managed to be a lot closer with my parents. As I've been telling them of my struggles and fears, of being lied and deceived, and even robbed of. After time of telling them the amount of damage they're doing to myself and siblings, they've finally opened up! I suppose that after many days and many nights, they see that I've come through on them, despite how much I have lost.
I've learned a lot, a lot of anger has been express but I find that as long as you're able to talk, resolve, forgive and forget then the possibilities are endless. I have moved on and I only found love and respect everywhere that I go. And I only wish that I can share of this brotherly love and hope so that you, too, can be inspired and continue onward in finding your way among these parts of the universe.
I think it's easy to say that work has been the root of where a lot of changing has been taking place. For the better and worse, I can say I'm quite happy here. It doesn't pay much, nor do I plan to make a career out of it, but I certainly can't complain about it whenever I compare my place with other workers. I think what has really made it pay off are the people I have met that I probably would have never come across in this life. So I always tend to get all sorts of views and perspective in all walks of life. I truly just love how well respected and the silly humorous that goes on.
Sometimes I just feel that I'm not really on the same page with some people as I thought I would be. I realize that I can't really be friends with whoever I want to be, it just simply happens, and whether or not I'm worthy is something that is out of my control. Such is life, I've always been misunderstood, and I'm okay with that. I think I can finally understand and accept this.
Anyhow, I see that I am living right now, this is my life, while I can't do everything that I want, I'm learning to be happy with what I got. Of course I dream a better tomorrow, but the day isn't over yet, and I still have plenty of time to get to my destination. Worse case scenario, I tried, right? ;]
Welp, take care everybody, best wishes to you all!
~FW.FR.RD
F(W.R.)R.D.
Foward.
