From FA. I've been trying to pinpoint all the things that are stressing me out lately and ease back from them. I find that a lot of my problems stem from feeling guilty for things I shouldn't feel guilty about and reinforcing habits that "fix" my guilt, but in the long run don't help me.

In the case of FA, I see all these artists and people that I like who are struggling or need money for this or that this month and I cannot stop myself from buying art or donating. I can't. I feel like a complete asshole when I do, especially when I just want to pop into a stream to relax. It's not relaxing anymore, not when I find myself spending huge chunks of my paychecks on art, instead of saving it up so I can move out of my parents' house in August. It's actually gotten to the point where I feel ill when I'm in a stream and an artist asks if anyone wants art and I don't jump on it. I have to wrestle with myself to not buy all the time.

I don't spend an exorbitant amount of money anywhere else in my life as consistently as I do with art. Shit, I've been wanting to buy new shoes for months now and just haven't. Fucking why? I don't know!

Anyways, yeah. I'm probably going to take a break from FA, or, at least, not check it as often. When I AM on, I'll see if I can't keep myself budgeted.