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"Hey..."
12 years ago
General
Know that I don't always know what I'm going to say. Games, Entertainment, Self, Weather, Politics, Events, History, Philosophy, all are fair game and any are free without the waring eyes of family or work.
If you ever shared a conversation with me, you probably know (or will learn one day) that I often begin with my sentences in the following fashion:
"Hey... can I ask you something?"
"... can I share this thought with you?"
"... can you tell me if this is right or wrong?"
Or some other prefix with virtually no meat to the forthcoming conversation.
I was teased twice today, the first by my father and the later by my friends, that of course I can *insert prefix* speak! Why couldn't I? .. Now I get where their coming from, I wasn't taken aback by their responses, it sounds like I don't have much confidence in what I wanna share. The truth is no, I'm not asking for permission, rather confirming the attention before sharing. It's bluntly put: a bad habit forged out of my childhood!
Growing up with a lack of friends, and a surplus of age, the average person I interacted with from 6-16 was hands down 40-60 years older then I. My former neighbor/baby-sitter/best-friend just turned 91. When I was growing up I actually loved having spent time with my family, my father and his brothers. Just listening to their jokes and stories, watching them turn minutes into hours.
Unfortunately your faced with an interesting conundrum growing up like this.. see you adapt the maturity and mindsets of the people around you. As a 12 year old I probably had more worldly knowledge and maturity then one who is 18. Unfortunately those same adults failed to see me as anything beyond the 12 year old I was. Dismissing talking over or blatantly ignoring whenever I wanted to speak.
I learned quickly if I ever wanted to really be heard, I had to change my tactics. Gone were the fast forward into speaking my thoughts alone. Enter came the clever use of generic word fodder. Not only do people tend to not personally listen to the first 3-5 words you say (hear your voice, but not listening yet) but it also it approaches the situation with an edge of curiosity.
-The most blatant example could be planting a suggestion in someone to make them think it was their idea all along. Rather then make an observation or suggestion it was always wise to bring out a generic question and judge their responses before wasting breath on the real thoughts. If someone didn't care to listen why repeat it 4 times until their listening?
But in the world of today, I know I can just speak my mind, ask a question, or make a suggestion to certain people. They those people won't ignore me or dismiss me and I don't need to approach them self-defecating on my personality. Because I'm not, I know what I wanna say and I'll say it. But at times I still just wanna know your prepared for it. But other times its a noble habit that has become bad.
"Hey... can I ask you something?"
"... can I share this thought with you?"
"... can you tell me if this is right or wrong?"
Or some other prefix with virtually no meat to the forthcoming conversation.
I was teased twice today, the first by my father and the later by my friends, that of course I can *insert prefix* speak! Why couldn't I? .. Now I get where their coming from, I wasn't taken aback by their responses, it sounds like I don't have much confidence in what I wanna share. The truth is no, I'm not asking for permission, rather confirming the attention before sharing. It's bluntly put: a bad habit forged out of my childhood!
Growing up with a lack of friends, and a surplus of age, the average person I interacted with from 6-16 was hands down 40-60 years older then I. My former neighbor/baby-sitter/best-friend just turned 91. When I was growing up I actually loved having spent time with my family, my father and his brothers. Just listening to their jokes and stories, watching them turn minutes into hours.
Unfortunately your faced with an interesting conundrum growing up like this.. see you adapt the maturity and mindsets of the people around you. As a 12 year old I probably had more worldly knowledge and maturity then one who is 18. Unfortunately those same adults failed to see me as anything beyond the 12 year old I was. Dismissing talking over or blatantly ignoring whenever I wanted to speak.
I learned quickly if I ever wanted to really be heard, I had to change my tactics. Gone were the fast forward into speaking my thoughts alone. Enter came the clever use of generic word fodder. Not only do people tend to not personally listen to the first 3-5 words you say (hear your voice, but not listening yet) but it also it approaches the situation with an edge of curiosity.
-The most blatant example could be planting a suggestion in someone to make them think it was their idea all along. Rather then make an observation or suggestion it was always wise to bring out a generic question and judge their responses before wasting breath on the real thoughts. If someone didn't care to listen why repeat it 4 times until their listening?
But in the world of today, I know I can just speak my mind, ask a question, or make a suggestion to certain people. They those people won't ignore me or dismiss me and I don't need to approach them self-defecating on my personality. Because I'm not, I know what I wanna say and I'll say it. But at times I still just wanna know your prepared for it. But other times its a noble habit that has become bad.
