Okay, for a class assignment, we had to write a letter to captain Ahab from Moby Dick. I switched some words around from the song "She Will be Loved" by Maroon 5.

Well, here's what an hour of good humor and dim wits produces:

"You Will Be Lunch"

Started whaling at only eighteen
You had some trouble with yourself
you were always there to chase me
you never listened to no one else

You sailed for miles and miles
And chased me with an oar
I've had you so few times and right now
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Swimmin' the ocean with these hunger pains
Look for the whale with the crooked jaw
Ask him if it's your leg that he gnawed
And you will be lunch
You will be lunch

Harpoon my right fluke lance me in the heart
Try but you will never get vengence
I already got your one leg in me now
and I want some more right now

It's not always sailors or first mates
It's captains that moves me along, yeah
My teeth are dull and my mouth's always open
To eat you anytime I want

I don't mind spending everyday
Swimmin' the ocean with these hunger pains
Look for the whale with the crooked jaw
Ask him if it's your leg he gnawed
And you will be lunch
and You will be lunch
And you will be lunch
And you will be lunch

I know where you hide
Alone on your deck
Know all of the things to make you taste delish
I know that stirfry is not possible
so I'll just eat you the next time that you fall

Harpoon my right fluke lance me through the heart
Try but you'll never get vengence

I don't mind spending everyday
Swimmin' the ocean with these hunger pains
Look for the whale with the crooked jaw
Ask him if it's your leg he gnawed
And you will be lunch
and You will be lunch
And you will be lunch
and you will be lunch

[in the background]
Please don't try so hard to stay so thin
Please don't try so hard to stay so thin

Yeah
[softly]
I don't mind spending everyday
Swimmin' the ocean with these hunger pains

Try so hard to stay so thin