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A Life Rant.
12 years ago
I got a call from my younger older brother today. I had not been able to talk in years due to life and distance. I had been planning to go see him and his family this year. As we started to talk it turned out to be the one sort of call I was not ready to hear. He told me about some friend of his who had been gay and now has decided that He should be straight and the God is telling him to start a ministry to help other guys do the same thing. it quickly turned into the" Hey, I don't know where you are in all that but you should talk to him and maybe cove down here and get involved with this." I was stunned. Most of my family have said they do not agree with my gender choice in relationships, but still love me and so i have never really brought it up to them about it and they in return do not generally bring it up to me. Slowly though. I became upset, not enough to show it since I was at work. Yet this hurt. Why must my family continue to do this? I have enough life issues to deal with without stirring up this big one.
What I do not understand is why we have to make this such a big deal? there have been many civilizations that have thrived with homosexuality being an accepted part of the culture. Why can it not work out now?
I have heard most to all the arguments on the topic. Ok many present versions of religions disapprove of same sex couplings. Christians say it is against the teaching of God and Jesus and the Bible. Yet how would many of them know. it is my own feeling that what the Bible says now is different then what it originally said when it was first written, muddled and washed out through translating it from the original Greek and Aramaic. That many of the words used then our present language no longer has an exact word for. Not only that but each translation has it's own bias and interpretation on what the scriptures mean, or they do not chose to do the history to find out what the time period in which it was written and what was it meaning to the people it was written to. . . . *sighs* but arguing religion and homosexuality never gets anywhere. people will always have some reason to dispute it on both sides. It is all interpretation.
What really has me upset is that if I were brutally honest. I do not care what the gender of the person I am with is. if we have common wants in life and love one another then that should be it. I happen to want to have affection and affirmation by a guy. I like to cuddle and hug on guys and and being with a guy is fun. you can wrestle and be competitive without so much worry of hurting the other and then go have some amazing, passionate, and wild sex afterwards.
at the same time I love women. I love how their bodies look and how they feel. how strong you can feel when you have your arms wrapped around a girl you like and that exhilarating feeling I get in my chest when I deeply kiss a girl I like when my hands slide over her bosom and the passion that comes from a joining of bodies and souls.
I also long to be a parent. I cannot wait to be able to start a family and then to find that person who wants that too. To have children and care for them, watch them grow and love them and to feel their love in return and realize in those moments that you would do anything to protect them from anything the world throws at them.
I could go on and on about life wants. a house, a dog or two, to be able to share those rare moments where everything feels right and you know they know it has all been worth it. The list goes on and on.
When I go through the list I can't say I am gay straight or bi. I am just who I am. and no one can come along and just change that. and I know I would not want to have it changed. I want to stay being me and I want people to just accept that who I am is who I am supposed to be and it should not matter who I wind up with or what they have or do not have.
Hell I may end never finding the person that has all the wants I have in life. I may end up just adopting a child and being a dad to them, or becoming a Big brother to some younger person or just being single but have an amazing group of close friends. who knows? I know I don't. and no one should try and spoil it for me.
*rant done*
(( I feel a little better now))
What I do not understand is why we have to make this such a big deal? there have been many civilizations that have thrived with homosexuality being an accepted part of the culture. Why can it not work out now?
I have heard most to all the arguments on the topic. Ok many present versions of religions disapprove of same sex couplings. Christians say it is against the teaching of God and Jesus and the Bible. Yet how would many of them know. it is my own feeling that what the Bible says now is different then what it originally said when it was first written, muddled and washed out through translating it from the original Greek and Aramaic. That many of the words used then our present language no longer has an exact word for. Not only that but each translation has it's own bias and interpretation on what the scriptures mean, or they do not chose to do the history to find out what the time period in which it was written and what was it meaning to the people it was written to. . . . *sighs* but arguing religion and homosexuality never gets anywhere. people will always have some reason to dispute it on both sides. It is all interpretation.
What really has me upset is that if I were brutally honest. I do not care what the gender of the person I am with is. if we have common wants in life and love one another then that should be it. I happen to want to have affection and affirmation by a guy. I like to cuddle and hug on guys and and being with a guy is fun. you can wrestle and be competitive without so much worry of hurting the other and then go have some amazing, passionate, and wild sex afterwards.
at the same time I love women. I love how their bodies look and how they feel. how strong you can feel when you have your arms wrapped around a girl you like and that exhilarating feeling I get in my chest when I deeply kiss a girl I like when my hands slide over her bosom and the passion that comes from a joining of bodies and souls.
I also long to be a parent. I cannot wait to be able to start a family and then to find that person who wants that too. To have children and care for them, watch them grow and love them and to feel their love in return and realize in those moments that you would do anything to protect them from anything the world throws at them.
I could go on and on about life wants. a house, a dog or two, to be able to share those rare moments where everything feels right and you know they know it has all been worth it. The list goes on and on.
When I go through the list I can't say I am gay straight or bi. I am just who I am. and no one can come along and just change that. and I know I would not want to have it changed. I want to stay being me and I want people to just accept that who I am is who I am supposed to be and it should not matter who I wind up with or what they have or do not have.
Hell I may end never finding the person that has all the wants I have in life. I may end up just adopting a child and being a dad to them, or becoming a Big brother to some younger person or just being single but have an amazing group of close friends. who knows? I know I don't. and no one should try and spoil it for me.
*rant done*
(( I feel a little better now))
Your choices in life are similar to your brother's; while you differ from the norm in orientation, he's differing from a exponentially growing minority. There are Bill O'Reillys of the atheist / homosexual world (Richard Dawkins / Rachael Maddow respectively) that have a growing popularity, not just under secularists but also under Liberally-minded religious people, that he is going to have to contend with.
Homosexuality is the trending-topic of the new millennia as civil rights was of the later part of the 20th century and women's suffrage was of the early 20th century. While you believe strongly in your attraction to whatever sex you like—just as an African American woman believes strongly in her right to vote and use the same fucking water fountain as a white male—he believes strongly in a magical old man that knows his thoughts before he thinks them.
Case and point, I'd suggest avoiding being upset and trying your damnedest to be supportive, just as you want to be supported.
I would be surprised if someone *wasn't* upset at that.
They would be saying "Hey, stop being gay. Come here and turn straight because I don't like that you're into men"
Snow isn't upset that his brother is religious, he's upset that his brother is suggesting that he should get involved and turn straight.
Call me callous but if someone was suggesting that to me, I wouldn't really care about being supportive to them; they've obviously made up their mind that they don't like my orientation and have decided to make an effort to change it.
Why would I want to support them? Becuause I want to be supported?
I'll find people that won't try to change who I love to support me, Their support would mean much more to me than to someone that calls me and says "Oh, So and so was gay and now he's not and starting a ministry to help others to become straight. You should get in on that"
Sorry for the situation, Snow. Must suck horribly :<
I'm sorry they don't understand your position, but I feel yah. I wish so many friends didn't have to struggle with disapproval over which sex they prefer / find attractive.
Oh Snow! I know I love you just the way you are! You speak with so much vibrancy and excitement, your spark for life and passion for loving others is unmatched by most anyone I know. You are one of the sweetest, most enriched, and gentlemanly guys I know. I am more then certain that you will achieve all your dreams and goals, first, because you aren't one to let life pass you by, and second, because I'm sure your perfect someone is out there somewhere and all you have to do is let life guide you together. In the mean time you have all of us to help bring you joy and love until you find that special someone. Then we will come crash the wedding Lust kidding!
I love you Snow, you are the bomb-diggity, and don't you forget it!