-You have a party or a barbeque whenever Alabama plays Auburn in football.

-You go to Gulf Shores every summer.

-You call the Atlanta Braves baseball team “us” like they’re actually from Alabama.

-You have family who would much rather visit Florida than California.

-You don’t “take”, you “carry” or “tote”… as in “You want me to carry you down to the 7-11?”

-A soft drink isn’t soda, cola, or pop, it’s Coke.

-You call it a “buggy” and not a shopping cart.

-You’ve said “fixin’ to,” “might could,” or “usetacould” during the last week.

-Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

-You can properly pronounce Arab, Eufaula, Opelika, Loachapoka, Bayou La Batre, and Oneonta.

-You know exactly what chitlins and mountain oysters are, and though you may not, you know someone who eats them anyway.

-You think that people who complain about the heat and humidity in other states are sissies.

-You aren’t surprised to find rental movies, groceries, ammunition and bait all in the same store.

-Asian food is always “CHINESE” regardless of the fact that it may actually be Korean or Japanese or Thai.

-People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

-Mamanem means the whole family. (“Are mamanem comin?”)

-You measure distance in minutes or hours.

-You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

-You know what “cow tipping” is.

-You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

-You know whether another Alabamian is from east, west, or middle Alabama as soon as they open their mouth.

-Visiting Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime.

-You know the difference between redneck, hillbilly, and southerner.

-You think everybody from the north has an accent.

-Y’all is a word.

-There is no such thing as tea.. it’s sweet tea.

-If a single snowflake falls, the town is paralyzed for three days, and it’s on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. All grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling “I survived the blizzard” tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.

-Your directions include “when you see the Waffle House” or “turn on the dirt road.”

-You say “sir” and “ma’am” if there’s even a chance someone is even thiry seconds older than you and it is just the polite thing to do.

-The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.

-There is nothing but country, gospel, or classic rock on the radio.

-A tornado warning siren or sever thunder storm is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

-Almost everyone you know is Baptist or Methodist.

-A Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

-You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing, especially hot wings.

-You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply or in my case even read, write or spell.

-Krispy Kreme doughnuts are the only doughnuts that exist.

-You know at least one Bubba, and maybe a few guys named Bo.

-You don’t assume the car with the blinker light on is actually going to turn anytime in the near future.