I dont normally rant or release emotions into things but it has just been building up too much i guess i have no other choice. Lately I don't know what's going on anymore. I try the best I can to hold my friends and my boyfriend together as a group but it seems that it's not working. To many fights to many conflicts I just cant seem to make anyone happy no matter how hard I try.

I have become more and more emotionally unstable as of late as well and I cannot stop it. It's just like I dont want to be around anyone anymore but that cannot happen... I miss the old times.... I miss the laughs and the love and the fun times.. But i cannot bring it back. I feel like I have become what I created and I do not want this anymore.

Do not think about the past for it has come and gone, do not worry about the future for it does not exist and only live for now : the present. Sadly I cannot follow the one quote that has kept me going any longer. I'm scared for the future, I'm scared I am forcing myself to become further and further away from those I care about. I do not know what to do anymore I am close to making myself scarce for the moment in fear of hurting someone. I want happiness and all that i get is pain and suffering. Is it not possible to fix this?

This is me just releasing some emotion because I do not know what else to do that wouldn't harm myself or someone else in some way. I have no idea and I know I have failed those I care for. I just....need an answer and I cannot find one...

Thanks for reading......
Kyuubi~