FA+
Shop
So...
17 years ago
Personal Site and Commission Info: http://sombrastudio.webs.com/
...have you ever just had on of those days, weeks, months, moments where everything you do just seems to be wrong? where you feel noting in your life is going how you want it to? Where you're doing things that you feel you have to do rather than things that make you happy?
I think that's what I'm feeling right now. Especially when it comes to my art. I get so competitive with it. Continuously trying to make myself better (actually this goes for my singing too...) and getting nowhere. Since I don't go to a prodigious art school like Ringling or CalArts, I feel like I need to try 10 times harder than everyone else, and that just doesn't fly for me. I can only push myself so far before art becomes work or a chore for me. And my school doesn't make this any better. They just feel that because everyone there is an art student that art should somehow be a part of every class. That just makes my general education classes that much harder for me.
Seriously, I'm almost at a point where I want to give up. Yes, I believe education is important, but right now I hate it. I don't care for math or science or any of that stuff. I just wanna draw. I want to draw without the pressures of being amazing. However if I do that, I'd never get a job. And I'm just not good enough make it as a freelance artist. I rarely admit this out loud, but...the only reason I want to be an animator is because cartooning's the only thing I'm good at. I can write but not nearly well enough to make my own comic or write a novel. I can sing but definitely not well enough to make a career out of it. I'm terrible at math and science. Hate being around kids so I could never be a teacher. Can never get up on a stage 'cause I get so nervous so I could never be an actor. Hate being around people so I can't even work in retail or anything like that and I have no business savvy. I can't even be a general "artist" 'cause I'm a terrible painter, sculptor, and I'm just uncreative. As we can see...I really think highly of myself (sarcasm if you couldn't pick it up).
Heh...I'm so fricken pessimistic. Not a good quality, but it's something I just can't seem to get rid of.
All I want is to have little fun with what I do. So I think I'm gonna backtrack a bit. I'm trying too hard to be creative and original and I forget the fun that I have usually when I draw fan art. On of my favorite things was to make TLK crossovers. I wanna do some more of those. TLK was my first inspiration. Why not go back to that for a while. I had so much fun drawing Death Note crossovers and Pokemon ones. I even drew little Gaara as a lion cub. so if you randomly seem e drawing Code Geass characters in TLK style...bear with me. I just need to be a little silly. Every once in a while, style mimicry can be fun.
Actually, I though I could make a bit of a challenge out of this for anyone willing to take it that is. Drawing your favorite character(s) from your current obsession in the style of (one of) your first inspirations. There's no prize or anything...it's just for fun. Just send a note...or comment here...whatever. And just so you know...I think I've abandoned that contest I started. ^^; Nothin' personal...when FA went down I didn't keep up with it and only got one entry. So...yeah...
Is this journal as long as I think it is? I actually wrote this all during church.
I think that's what I'm feeling right now. Especially when it comes to my art. I get so competitive with it. Continuously trying to make myself better (actually this goes for my singing too...) and getting nowhere. Since I don't go to a prodigious art school like Ringling or CalArts, I feel like I need to try 10 times harder than everyone else, and that just doesn't fly for me. I can only push myself so far before art becomes work or a chore for me. And my school doesn't make this any better. They just feel that because everyone there is an art student that art should somehow be a part of every class. That just makes my general education classes that much harder for me.
Seriously, I'm almost at a point where I want to give up. Yes, I believe education is important, but right now I hate it. I don't care for math or science or any of that stuff. I just wanna draw. I want to draw without the pressures of being amazing. However if I do that, I'd never get a job. And I'm just not good enough make it as a freelance artist. I rarely admit this out loud, but...the only reason I want to be an animator is because cartooning's the only thing I'm good at. I can write but not nearly well enough to make my own comic or write a novel. I can sing but definitely not well enough to make a career out of it. I'm terrible at math and science. Hate being around kids so I could never be a teacher. Can never get up on a stage 'cause I get so nervous so I could never be an actor. Hate being around people so I can't even work in retail or anything like that and I have no business savvy. I can't even be a general "artist" 'cause I'm a terrible painter, sculptor, and I'm just uncreative. As we can see...I really think highly of myself (sarcasm if you couldn't pick it up).
Heh...I'm so fricken pessimistic. Not a good quality, but it's something I just can't seem to get rid of.
All I want is to have little fun with what I do. So I think I'm gonna backtrack a bit. I'm trying too hard to be creative and original and I forget the fun that I have usually when I draw fan art. On of my favorite things was to make TLK crossovers. I wanna do some more of those. TLK was my first inspiration. Why not go back to that for a while. I had so much fun drawing Death Note crossovers and Pokemon ones. I even drew little Gaara as a lion cub. so if you randomly seem e drawing Code Geass characters in TLK style...bear with me. I just need to be a little silly. Every once in a while, style mimicry can be fun.
Actually, I though I could make a bit of a challenge out of this for anyone willing to take it that is. Drawing your favorite character(s) from your current obsession in the style of (one of) your first inspirations. There's no prize or anything...it's just for fun. Just send a note...or comment here...whatever. And just so you know...I think I've abandoned that contest I started. ^^; Nothin' personal...when FA went down I didn't keep up with it and only got one entry. So...yeah...
Is this journal as long as I think it is? I actually wrote this all during church.
From my birth till now
Think like this - you won't be able to please everybody... so concentrate on those you can.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for ya. *hugs*
Also I am surprised myself to be on FA while in church, I be scared shitless if I was
Yeah, I should probably diversify what I draw. I was thinking more of going back to drawing just regular animals for a while...
As for that feeling - im just now getting out of it after ~7 months of it. Going back to your roots is your best course of action - also I expect much outrage to this but - try some non-fur art - branch into something else on your mini-hiatus - it will help you get back that much faster =3
~Kai
And I'm pretty sure most people forgot about my contest. Some people did remember though. ^^; So I figured I'd say I'm not going through with it anymore.
Birds frustrate me the most but they focus me. I understand about the not drawing other things well - i just force myself to do it and sometimes it surprises me. lol
~Kai
With time I got better and now sometimes hold speeches from even in a foreign language.
You "just" have to dare and try it even if you think you are not good enough.
Odd fact of the matter is I still want to randomly go on a show like America's Got Talent just for the heck of it. It can't be as bad as I think it is...
And perhaps you can get a funny customer story (Look here for some funny ones: http://www.customerssuck.com/strip/ )
Hmm, thinking what you want can be hard - you have to decide what you likeand finding out all that you can about it and do what you can to get into it
easier said than done i know
*Huuugs*
your awesome tho ;_;
If you fall off the horse, all you can do is get back on. ~old
A wise man makes proverbs. Fools repeat th-- oh wait. That's more for me.
In small and short (two things I am rarely) - you're a pessimist. You know that. The important thing is you know that things aren't as bad as you make them. But being a fellow pessimist, atleast I know one thing - you can either be right, or pleasantly surprised.
...
Oh, uhhh... I mean 'us'.
Yes...
It's almost like I have a feeling of I don't know what to do anymore. Like art's being more of a chore for me than something that I'd actually want to do for the rest of my life. And I can't get over the whole pessimism aspect either.
I'm a pessimistic lazy perfectionist. It's an amazing combination, isn't it?