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Heads Up.
12 years ago
"You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights."
- Dr. Seuss First let me start off by saying: I hate complaining about my life. But this is the one and only thing I'm going to write on this subject:
So lately, a lot has been happening. So much so that I'm stressing out over everything in my life. I'm working two jobs, 40+ hours a week, applied for a temporary promotion at one of them, I'm saving hundreds of dollars a month to move into an apartment (that apparently is a lot more complicated than I originally thought), I'm already having issues in my personal life. I feel like all of this is gonna affect my friendships and/or future relationships I'm currently in pursuance of. Recently, a friend of mine told me my posts were bipolar of sorts. First, let me point out:
No, I'm not bipolar. I'm an adult who is stressing. Yes, I'll have some good points in my day, but right now everything seems like it's just a bad day for me. Hell, today, I did a no sale on my register 5 times because I just wasn't there mentally. Like every other person in this fandom, at some point in their life, I am struggling. I have a lot of goals. There is SO much I want to do in my life right now, that my body and mind is overwhelmed. The fact that I'm not a 90 lb heart attack survivor is beyond me at this point.. I strive for close to, if not, perfection. I have a vision. I want this and that and in this time frame. It stresses me to NO END if I can't meet that deadline. There's so much going in my life right now, please please forgive me if when I talk to you, I seem like I'm agitated. Right now, there are 3 people in my life that I talk to on a regular basis.
A lot of you know me by the smile I wear when I'm at meets. I can't always be that happy person. Especially with missing meets, and missing my friends. Nieghclaw has been a common resident of my house every weekend for pretty much the last month. I've gotten used to it and I've been really happy. He's helped me keep it together in a lot of stressful situations in my home life. But right now, I'm inviting him over and saying: 'Yeah, you're welcome to come over Friday. But I won't be home til almost 11. Oh, and I work an 8.5 hour shift on Saturday. I wish we could go apartment hunting all together, but unfortunately, you and Blaze have to do it alone." Do you even understand how frustrating this is?!?! I feel like my personal life is deteriorating before my eyes and unfortunately, if I stop it, that means I stop doing what I /need/ to do in order to become a stable adult.
This weekend I missed my first PS in awhile... I didn't attend the last LMFAO. And right now, I only have plans to attend RaKet's Earth Day meetup & Califur. Earth Day is April 21...Califur is May 31. Do the math. How many meets will I miss in between those two? LOTS. Too many to count. Excuse my irritability because I'm missing out on my life.
I'm just gonna end it by thanking two people:
Gara & Nieghclaw: For the short time I've known you both, you have been gracious, kind and amazing. You've been there for me in situations that you didn't have to be. You've allowed me to rant & vent when the fault is probably no one's but my own. You sit there and listen to my problems and offer an ear, and I thank you. You make me laugh and drive me insanely bonkers most times, but I'm glad you do. I'm very grateful to have such amazing friends, not just you two, but everyone in my life.
So lately, a lot has been happening. So much so that I'm stressing out over everything in my life. I'm working two jobs, 40+ hours a week, applied for a temporary promotion at one of them, I'm saving hundreds of dollars a month to move into an apartment (that apparently is a lot more complicated than I originally thought), I'm already having issues in my personal life. I feel like all of this is gonna affect my friendships and/or future relationships I'm currently in pursuance of. Recently, a friend of mine told me my posts were bipolar of sorts. First, let me point out:
No, I'm not bipolar. I'm an adult who is stressing. Yes, I'll have some good points in my day, but right now everything seems like it's just a bad day for me. Hell, today, I did a no sale on my register 5 times because I just wasn't there mentally. Like every other person in this fandom, at some point in their life, I am struggling. I have a lot of goals. There is SO much I want to do in my life right now, that my body and mind is overwhelmed. The fact that I'm not a 90 lb heart attack survivor is beyond me at this point.. I strive for close to, if not, perfection. I have a vision. I want this and that and in this time frame. It stresses me to NO END if I can't meet that deadline. There's so much going in my life right now, please please forgive me if when I talk to you, I seem like I'm agitated. Right now, there are 3 people in my life that I talk to on a regular basis.
A lot of you know me by the smile I wear when I'm at meets. I can't always be that happy person. Especially with missing meets, and missing my friends. Nieghclaw has been a common resident of my house every weekend for pretty much the last month. I've gotten used to it and I've been really happy. He's helped me keep it together in a lot of stressful situations in my home life. But right now, I'm inviting him over and saying: 'Yeah, you're welcome to come over Friday. But I won't be home til almost 11. Oh, and I work an 8.5 hour shift on Saturday. I wish we could go apartment hunting all together, but unfortunately, you and Blaze have to do it alone." Do you even understand how frustrating this is?!?! I feel like my personal life is deteriorating before my eyes and unfortunately, if I stop it, that means I stop doing what I /need/ to do in order to become a stable adult.
This weekend I missed my first PS in awhile... I didn't attend the last LMFAO. And right now, I only have plans to attend RaKet's Earth Day meetup & Califur. Earth Day is April 21...Califur is May 31. Do the math. How many meets will I miss in between those two? LOTS. Too many to count. Excuse my irritability because I'm missing out on my life.
I'm just gonna end it by thanking two people:
Gara & Nieghclaw: For the short time I've known you both, you have been gracious, kind and amazing. You've been there for me in situations that you didn't have to be. You've allowed me to rant & vent when the fault is probably no one's but my own. You sit there and listen to my problems and offer an ear, and I thank you. You make me laugh and drive me insanely bonkers most times, but I'm glad you do. I'm very grateful to have such amazing friends, not just you two, but everyone in my life.
Not if it all blows up in your face.
It just feels like a waste of time if I don't know how it'll end. Like I said, I have this vision. I want things to go as I plan them in m yhead. But it's 10x more difficult when I don't know what to expect.