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Where am I, what am I up to, etc.
12 years ago
Let's see how long I can go before I pass out n sleep. lol
Have any of you noticed I've been quiet/gone lately? I got tired of stuff. I got tired of babyfurs and their obsession with diapers. I'm a babyfur, yes, but i'm not OBSESSED with padding. i can go days without even -thinking- about it. let alone talking about it. It drives me up the walls to see people talk about it nonstop to everyone they talk to. Just saying.
I got tired of the baby talk outside of RP situations. It's just annoying and hard to read.
Most of all though, I got tired of not feeling appreciated. I tried to do my best for a long time, offering relatively cheap commissions and spending soo many hours on them for people. Some people were extremely grateful, and I appreciate those people. But a lot of others gave nothing more than a "Thanks", a fav, and went on with their day.
I'd draw something and spend forever on it, and then finally turn to someone for help. But I never got help, or critique, or opinions. I got "it's cute". I was trying to improve. I still want to.
I started drawing what made me happy. But then I started to lose everyone's interest it seems. It feels like if I don't draw a cub in diapers, I won't get views, favs, or comments. People won't even take the time out of their day to look at what I drew. Even if I colored it! My full colored pieces were getting nothing in comparison to other people's sketches, or even some of my older stuff. And no one told me why.
I would livestream for people, and get 2 people who would then go afk and never return. And no one told me why they wouldn't come.
So I've stopped drawing for now until I get my spark back. Until I get the creativity back.
Lately I've been in Secondlife creating things for my store there. Making outfits and stuff. Spending time with family and friends.
In real life, I'm trying to stay afloat. I'm working toward applying to SSI. I'm working toward getting official evaluations and diagnoses done for all the things I struggle with. I'm working toward getting to a better place where I'm not miserable.
I'm going to Megaplex as long as I can afford the $45 for the initial cost. A good friend of mine let us room with him with no money pressure, letting us pay him however much we can manage, and however long it might take. I have Ashes still, and I love him. I'd love to get more art of him before the con, but I don't have money to spare.
I'm currently -25 in debt because of my phone bill and a monthly service fee for my bank. I'm working on it though. Somehow.
I'm working on still looking into a service dog. Chances are high that I can get one within the next few years. and places can help with the fundraising and costs. I just need to convince my mom and show that I'm responsible and stuff.
It's 4:30 and my meds have made me sleepy. so I'm going to bed. I got a new haircut today! It reminds me of
Tailbiter when she got hers cut.
http://imgur.com/YpAWYGv.jpg
I didn't intend for it to come out like that. But I like it!
Nini all. Poke me if you still want me around. Reply and stuff. Your feedback means a ton to me.
Have any of you noticed I've been quiet/gone lately? I got tired of stuff. I got tired of babyfurs and their obsession with diapers. I'm a babyfur, yes, but i'm not OBSESSED with padding. i can go days without even -thinking- about it. let alone talking about it. It drives me up the walls to see people talk about it nonstop to everyone they talk to. Just saying.
I got tired of the baby talk outside of RP situations. It's just annoying and hard to read.
Most of all though, I got tired of not feeling appreciated. I tried to do my best for a long time, offering relatively cheap commissions and spending soo many hours on them for people. Some people were extremely grateful, and I appreciate those people. But a lot of others gave nothing more than a "Thanks", a fav, and went on with their day.
I'd draw something and spend forever on it, and then finally turn to someone for help. But I never got help, or critique, or opinions. I got "it's cute". I was trying to improve. I still want to.
I started drawing what made me happy. But then I started to lose everyone's interest it seems. It feels like if I don't draw a cub in diapers, I won't get views, favs, or comments. People won't even take the time out of their day to look at what I drew. Even if I colored it! My full colored pieces were getting nothing in comparison to other people's sketches, or even some of my older stuff. And no one told me why.
I would livestream for people, and get 2 people who would then go afk and never return. And no one told me why they wouldn't come.
So I've stopped drawing for now until I get my spark back. Until I get the creativity back.
Lately I've been in Secondlife creating things for my store there. Making outfits and stuff. Spending time with family and friends.
In real life, I'm trying to stay afloat. I'm working toward applying to SSI. I'm working toward getting official evaluations and diagnoses done for all the things I struggle with. I'm working toward getting to a better place where I'm not miserable.
I'm going to Megaplex as long as I can afford the $45 for the initial cost. A good friend of mine let us room with him with no money pressure, letting us pay him however much we can manage, and however long it might take. I have Ashes still, and I love him. I'd love to get more art of him before the con, but I don't have money to spare.
I'm currently -25 in debt because of my phone bill and a monthly service fee for my bank. I'm working on it though. Somehow.
I'm working on still looking into a service dog. Chances are high that I can get one within the next few years. and places can help with the fundraising and costs. I just need to convince my mom and show that I'm responsible and stuff.
It's 4:30 and my meds have made me sleepy. so I'm going to bed. I got a new haircut today! It reminds me of
Tailbiter when she got hers cut. http://imgur.com/YpAWYGv.jpg
I didn't intend for it to come out like that. But I like it!
Nini all. Poke me if you still want me around. Reply and stuff. Your feedback means a ton to me.
I just wish you the best Sila.
This would eliminate your service charges, and save you $60 or so a year.
So there's familiarity, and a leniant policy which works in my favor a lot. And trust.
Someone once swiped my card number without me even knowing. I had the card in my wallet at home but somehow they got the number. (I don't order online unless through paypal, so it wasn't that). They tried to order online with my card number and buy over $1k worth of things. My bank immediately stopped the transactions and called me to authorize it, asking if my latest transaction to ___ was ___. They saved me a lot of hassle that might've been a huge ass headache otherwise.
Right now, the $10 / month isn't so bad if I can keep commissions going. It's either $10/month or it's waived if you use your card at least 10 times. I've got a free gov't phone for now, but I haven't activated it yet. I'll get back on my feet soon enough, I just have to get out of this slump I've been in for months now. I'm actually working out of it though, i've been drawing and getting some income finally, and getting more energy etc again. More motivation.