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FML
12 years ago
Life was supposed to get better once I moved out, I understood it'd be harder yes but with that there was supposed to be some sort of greater sense of accomplishment when you manage to survive on your own. Get your own place, no parents to drive you crazy and shit. But it seems I can't get a break, one curveball after another. The job that I got, was rather good at the start, I got hours, not fantastic pay, but enough to keep myself afloat and a schedule that gave me the free time to enjoy with friends. Now, I find myself faced with a woman who's pushing hard to get Bitch Supreme of the year. Practically all my hours have been cut in favor of someone who she just put on, in fact the other part timers who've been around since before she took over are suffering hour cuts to a woman getting easily double what we get collected. When I confronted her about why my hours took the hardest hit, when I'm the only part timer who actually lives on his own and has bills to pay, her excuse was "I can't play favorites, everyone gets the same." Sure. a whopping 12 hours over 4 weeks is the same as 20 Hours a week. No favorites on the playing field at all. Now I have more time on my hands than I know what to do with. I've been filling out job applications but I hear nothing back. Florida is filled with retirees who find out their retirement plan isn't as good as they expected and are thrust into the jobs people my age are normally found in. I've fucked up with my life, I was nothing special in school, and even a trade or vocational school is too much as I find depression makes it impossible to really care past one semester. Even if I got calls back on any of the applications I put in, that means I'd have to detox from marijuana in order to pass a drug test on the chance that I actually get issued one that bothers to screen for THC. I hate to sound like an addict but it's one of the few things that keeps my overactive head from tearing itself apart. After what adderall did to me in highschool I can't bring myself to trust a man-made drug to 'even me out' or whatever those synthetic chemicals claim to do. Even with my acts of self medication I can feel life's weight bearing down too much on my shoulders. I'm stuck with a shitty job and a manager who will be no help at all when it comes to job references. I can't ask my parents for help, I already feel like too much a failure in their eyes, and for God's sake they don't even know I'm bisexual yet. With each passing day it feels like my local friends are less interested in my company, in fact the only ones who seem to take any initiative are my stoner group I've known since high school, and I feel I need to break away from them. This leaves me almost alienated on a social level. The suffocating feeling of nobody to turn to for relative help is closing in on me fast and I don't know how to cope of combat it. It feels like I missed something, or am missing something key to just being a functional person but I'm lightyears away from grasping it. Every day I feel like breaking down into a raging fit, bursts of emotion I fail to tie to anything rational or tangible. I'm just not sure what to do anymore, my head is stuffed to the brim with questions I don't even know how or who to ask.
You can just walk in and say hey I had unrelated jobs before and I'm looking for work. Never go into detail about how your manager hates you. That's like, a huge no no. Just some tips man, I mean it's all up to you but I hope it helps somewhat. Just got to show you will bust your ass and you'll get hours somewhere else. Jobs at this point in life for either of us are just stepping stones. Who gives a crap if one job is going poorly? Find a new one. It's hard, but life is hard. You can do it. Persistence and patience. It's good you HAVE a job right now, that's the good thing, even if it sucks ass.
Persistence is key, especially with any hospitality job. Turnover is HUGE in that job sector, so restaurants and hotels are very often looking for new blood to replace those who quit. KEEP AT IT.
All I can say is that if you have job experience now, keep hunting. If the place is big enough to have HR, call them and complain. Start an investigation into this manager. Have everyone call. If there's no such thing and it's a tiny place, well... Keep searching other places. The recommendations I'd make have already been made by others in that area. As much as its going to suck, I'd start detoxing now and really hit it hard. Even if it sucks... it's going to increase your chances.
It's not much, I know, and many a time even doing it in person is not enough. But for what it's worth. I see what you're going through and for as little as it may seem to be, my prayers are with you.
Either way, hold fast okay? Don't give up.
I truly wish there was a way I could lend a helping hand, and honestly, if you were living in this country, I could help you. Sadly you're not, so all I can offer you is encouragement.
Keep your chin up no matter what. They'll try to drown you, but you're stronger than that. Hold on to it, believe it. Don't let them destroy you. Don't. Let them win. You'll get out of this, hold on!