I am super skinny yet super tall, and I wish I was bigger. Now, I don’t want to end up like a person of Walmart, so I gotta watch myself. My heritage is either fat or thin, not much in between. I want to really bulk up in fatness, not muscle. Of course having to hike to school, work, and back home is a pain, so that won’t help...yet. With all that exercise I do (not to mention the REALLY heavy backpack I carry), my metabolism goes way up. If I could keep that metabolism the same through my middle-aged years, then I will gain weight. Besides, five fat people have been my inspirations; John Goodman for being a great guy to watch, even though he throws his weight around; my step-grandfather, who has helped me get along through the past few years; a good friend of mine who was a great substitute teacher whom I met freshman year in high-school, who has been a great help in seeing life; a man who I met just a few days ago, a local cop who has taught me to live life at it’s fullest and just have a good time, even if a shotgun is thrown in your face; and one of my coworkers, who, even though he’s hampered by his weight, is still fast and happy and comfortable with being himself. These are the following fifty reasons why I want to be fat:
Warm during winter
Cushioning
Stretched stomach, more food
Heavier, more force to a punch (if needed)
I think a fat man is attractive
I like the look of clothes stretched on fat (especially dress shirts, sweater vests, tucked in clothes or all three)
I like the look of fat rings around the neck/double chins
People think you’re happy
Nice looking clothes (like a suit, etc.) make you look professional, no matter your looks
Can scare my kids if I go shirtless
People will notice me
People trust you on good food
You’ll survive longer in an emergency
The curve underneath the gut of a fat man is attractive to me
You won’t sink underwater
If I drink alcohol when I’m older, I will have less chance of a heart-attack
I like foods with gravy, BBQ and high amounts of fat in food, not veggies
I like women who are attracted to fat guys or plump women in general/both
I like to eat because it tastes good, so this would give me an excuse
When you reach middle-age, you’ll gain weight anyway, so why not begin early
You can really eat at a buffet
I like the look of smooshed or stretched fat
I like the look of fat bunched up in a lap
I like the look of a gut pressed against a flat surface or edge and seeing the curve it makes
Sugar and alcohol are empty calories, so that adds weight gain
As long as alcohol is consumed, I get a beer belly and cleared arteries
I like the look of suspenders with a belt
A distended stomach will feel very, VERY good
Hiking once a month won’t change me and will help keep some of my health up
I already know how to fight, so that knowledge won’t be lost, just slowed down
Winter, I don’t have to worry about how much I eat for more heating
A goatee (which I wish, and probably will grow) looks better on a fat person
If I can’t grow a goatee, then a walrus mustache looks good, too
A big stomach wouldn’t bother me at all, especially when I’m older and want to enjoy what little time I have left
I’m a loud laugher anyways, so there would be more force to the laugh
I’m a singer, and the bigger and heavier the person, the more force behind the note and song
I like to overeat
I don’t want to be obese, just overweight (a lot overweight)
I’ve always been underweight even though I eat my family out of house and home
I have a pretty good sense of humor, so someone poking fun at my weight wouldn’t bother me
A gut in the way wouldn’t bother me
The saying, “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” would be so true with me
I would be the really “happy-go-lucky” looking grandfather
A fat man reclining must be really comfortable, so I want to be that fat man
I want big love-handles
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a jiggling front side
I want to be broad in the beams
Wondered what it’s like to get stuck in a chair
Every man may want a certain type of girl that falls into the stereotypical “hot girl”, and I like big chicks. A dog likes a bone, a man likes meat. But, even though women have their “hot guy” types, they are more forgiving on looks, because for me, a fat man would be able to support a family monetarily and nutritionally (even though it’s an unhealthy choice). Besides . . .
You only live once, right?


Those are my reasons for wanting to be fat AND why I’m a fatfur.