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Worthless (yeah yeah, sad journal. Oh well)
12 years ago
General
Using one word, please describe how you feel right now.
Just did.
mff. If it weren't for my mate, I dont know where I'd be. She's the only thing keeping my head above water right now... I love you <3
But basically this weekend hasnt been the most awesome. It started out great, but its been boiling down to making me feel awful...
first things first, theres a homework assignment due tomorrow that I have absolutely NO IDEA where to go with. It's for computer science and I have to do networking and stuff for it, and it's a damn nightmare. I also feel really awful at what I do, (computer science) since I'm ALWAYS behind in the class and always have to ask my friends for help, who are usually already done. So I feel worthless in what I'm spending 40 grand a year to do.
Second, my first furry meet was yesterday, and I couldn't make a single friend. Not one person. I didnt meet anyone new. I tried to be outgoing and fun, but people were either kinda cold, or said hi and acted all excited to see me, then moved on and never really talked to me again... I'll probably go again at some point, but I kinda get how they felt. Why bother meeting me? I'm not special...
Also, my contest that I hosted last week? I had really high hopes for that thing... I at least wanted one person to apply for each spot. So far 3 have replied, and my most sincere thanks to those who did. I'll still do it, even if I have to beg people to take spots, but yeah... Deadline for that is this friday, if anyone wants to enter out of pity... link is here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4539460/
Also, there's a summer program for computer science I really wanted to get into, and i didnt. I got rejected. 20 bucks says my friends will be all excited about how they got in it tomorrow in class, and I'll have to sit off to the side and pretend it doesnt bug me.
Also, when all I wanted was a little time alone with my girlfriend today, my room mate, who's had the room to himself since 2:30 on friday till about 12 today, couldnt leave. I guess LoL is more important than being courteous to your room mate.
Also, for next year, I need one more class to pick, and the ones I want arent letting me for some idiotic reason. No prerequisites, no nothing. Just can't join them. And I cant find another elective I want that isnt filled... Also, I need to find a new room mate next year. But all my friends on campus are either girls, commute, or dont shower. so yeah. Have to decide that by tuesday else I get to play room mate roulette.
So yeah. I just feel like absolute crap, and I highly doubt anyone besides my girlfriend bothered to read the whole thing, so it's just nice to get it all out there.
Just did.
mff. If it weren't for my mate, I dont know where I'd be. She's the only thing keeping my head above water right now... I love you <3
But basically this weekend hasnt been the most awesome. It started out great, but its been boiling down to making me feel awful...
first things first, theres a homework assignment due tomorrow that I have absolutely NO IDEA where to go with. It's for computer science and I have to do networking and stuff for it, and it's a damn nightmare. I also feel really awful at what I do, (computer science) since I'm ALWAYS behind in the class and always have to ask my friends for help, who are usually already done. So I feel worthless in what I'm spending 40 grand a year to do.
Second, my first furry meet was yesterday, and I couldn't make a single friend. Not one person. I didnt meet anyone new. I tried to be outgoing and fun, but people were either kinda cold, or said hi and acted all excited to see me, then moved on and never really talked to me again... I'll probably go again at some point, but I kinda get how they felt. Why bother meeting me? I'm not special...
Also, my contest that I hosted last week? I had really high hopes for that thing... I at least wanted one person to apply for each spot. So far 3 have replied, and my most sincere thanks to those who did. I'll still do it, even if I have to beg people to take spots, but yeah... Deadline for that is this friday, if anyone wants to enter out of pity... link is here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4539460/
Also, there's a summer program for computer science I really wanted to get into, and i didnt. I got rejected. 20 bucks says my friends will be all excited about how they got in it tomorrow in class, and I'll have to sit off to the side and pretend it doesnt bug me.
Also, when all I wanted was a little time alone with my girlfriend today, my room mate, who's had the room to himself since 2:30 on friday till about 12 today, couldnt leave. I guess LoL is more important than being courteous to your room mate.
Also, for next year, I need one more class to pick, and the ones I want arent letting me for some idiotic reason. No prerequisites, no nothing. Just can't join them. And I cant find another elective I want that isnt filled... Also, I need to find a new room mate next year. But all my friends on campus are either girls, commute, or dont shower. so yeah. Have to decide that by tuesday else I get to play room mate roulette.
So yeah. I just feel like absolute crap, and I highly doubt anyone besides my girlfriend bothered to read the whole thing, so it's just nice to get it all out there.
but good luck sir, I guess Im not the only one having a shittastic day
I can definately related to what your going through with college, I have some classes that are kinda over my head and with lack of time and sleep, there is no possible way to get everything done. Clear your mind, breathe softly, and take baby steps. Sometimes things wont go in your favor, thats life, life takes no backseat to our already busy and complicated lives. Take any spurt of inspiration and motivation and keep on keeping on, its the only good advice I can give that I'd been given by friends in school.
Nothing bad in getting or asking for help, it means you care just as much for your education and nobody can't blame you for it. Everyone has been through some speedbumps in life, and if they are still there, it means the impossible is possible. No one is ever unfit for college, if you have made it this far, you can go all the way.
i think im still more comfortable with smaller groups though...
I'm thinking about getting farther away from LAFF, that or not going to suit anymore down there. I'd rather now go to smaller meets within the state, travelling far and blowing two tanks of gas to get ignored and bored of myself just doesn't work with me anymore. As much as people anticipate me to come, they dont show it much whenever I do show up, of course there are the few people who I do talk with for a good amount of time, but afterwards I'm literally bored walking around. Oh well, hopefully something will get set up this summer, would love to go bowling again in Kenosha, won't go anywhere else now. Plus got to meet new furs I never met before, so it was a good change now. The golden aura surrounding LAFF has worn off for me, hope it doesn't stop you from going and meeting with new friends, but I'm kinda burnt by how its been going (plus with all the creepy ass suiters that demand me to go during the summer months, hell no I'm not XD).
Just hang in there and you'll be doing fine.
thanks! I feel better already :)