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Life~
12 years ago
Ahhh life, the things we live for and get out of it, well this is kind of a rant, and my first so whatever..
Just been feeling really down for the past several months well longer than that really so i just cover it with a smile and a laugh... Life is good for many and bad for others and such the way it is, but luck is granted to so vary many few and that really gets me. I wonder how my future will be like , uncertain at best as life has a way of giving me just that very little good luck just to turn around and kicking me in the hole. things id like to take care of, to do. but unable to do so. every time i finally climb out i get kicked back into a deeper pit. I find love only to have it taken away, get a descent job, wind up losing it some how.... My only guess is that i was never meant to have happyness. so i go to work, come home only to find out that i may not have a job in a few months. My car broke and im trying to save up for that but when monies is taken out and trying to survive on about a grand a month isnt helping me one bit. I keep locked away, no friends really except the few furs i have befriended and one person from work. other than that my life seems to have no silver lining, no happyending and all i can do is just try to survive this world. i hate it, i hate it so very much. I would love to see it burn. Ive done all i can, work pay bills and all i get is shit on. i have had to move several times due to losing a job one way or another and im tired of moving. I hate it, i cant live peacefully. my life utterly sucks, goals, yea i had a few but it all seems so bleak. they say money cant buy you happiness, well thats a goddamn lie right there. it sure and the hell makes life to live a lot fuckin easier and not having to worry about when, where to live next, how will the bills be paid. im so tired of trying to make it, tired of struggling. Im just so fucking tired of it all. so its just vent and things that have happend in the past that has determined my future so meh.
Just been feeling really down for the past several months well longer than that really so i just cover it with a smile and a laugh... Life is good for many and bad for others and such the way it is, but luck is granted to so vary many few and that really gets me. I wonder how my future will be like , uncertain at best as life has a way of giving me just that very little good luck just to turn around and kicking me in the hole. things id like to take care of, to do. but unable to do so. every time i finally climb out i get kicked back into a deeper pit. I find love only to have it taken away, get a descent job, wind up losing it some how.... My only guess is that i was never meant to have happyness. so i go to work, come home only to find out that i may not have a job in a few months. My car broke and im trying to save up for that but when monies is taken out and trying to survive on about a grand a month isnt helping me one bit. I keep locked away, no friends really except the few furs i have befriended and one person from work. other than that my life seems to have no silver lining, no happyending and all i can do is just try to survive this world. i hate it, i hate it so very much. I would love to see it burn. Ive done all i can, work pay bills and all i get is shit on. i have had to move several times due to losing a job one way or another and im tired of moving. I hate it, i cant live peacefully. my life utterly sucks, goals, yea i had a few but it all seems so bleak. they say money cant buy you happiness, well thats a goddamn lie right there. it sure and the hell makes life to live a lot fuckin easier and not having to worry about when, where to live next, how will the bills be paid. im so tired of trying to make it, tired of struggling. Im just so fucking tired of it all. so its just vent and things that have happend in the past that has determined my future so meh.
