They're certainly not as bad as they were a week ago, but one panic attack upon waking up is one too many. They're like a kind of drama that acts on its own whether I want it to or not. Can't get much more dramatic than bedridden sickness. I mean, it's totally not fair. If it were up to me, I'd be solving most of my personal crises quietly and more efficiently. Panic attacks all but assure that the whole world knows. But I also know that an inherent part of my panic attacks involve my mental feedback loops during times of stress, and being surprised with situations I have no clue how to deal with. I panic because I cannot bring myself to surrender to a social equation I can't solve.