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Where I've Been - Update + Frustration
12 years ago
I feel like I write these journals once a week and never seem to post them because by the time I get halfway through them I'll think, "You're just being a baby. Don't post your stupid vents on FA. No one cares dipstick." However I really do need to give updates on work progression, and my stress levels have been just sky high. I can think of two occasions this week that I've been in tears trying to vent unsuccessfully.
That being said... I'm doing my absolute best to work on commissions. They aren't being forgotten or neglected I'm just waiting on this weeks paycheck to have stuff ready to go out the door. Money has been that tight. I'll post a queue below with the various stages of completion on each person's order.
Now for the... life update venting part.
As you guys know I'm preparing for bariatric surgery. It may seem vain or unimportant to most folks who are unaware of the situation but frankly right now it's the most important thing thing in my life. Period. In terms of things I could do for myself to ensure that my quality of life in middle and old age is decent, this is paramount and takes precedence over everything else.
It is that important.
So there's that huge ball of stress hanging over my head. Especially knowing what failure could mean (infertility, early death, immobility, etc.).
I'm also buying a house. Yes. Buying. 62k home my sister and I are buying from my Uncle. Owner financed so it should be a fairly smooth transition but I work 2 and 3 days a week at my part time job for my Uncle and there's no way I can swing that and having utilities on the pay I currently earn. Forget eating. Thank god half my stomach is getting chopped off.
So I need to have a full time job before that can happen,
but I can't get a full time job until my surgery happens,
but I can't have my surgery until my Dad and Uncle's flipped house sells.
My Uncle expects us to move into this home as soon as he's moved into his new one. He's scheduled to close on it later this month.
AND ON TOP OF THIS LOVELY STRESS SALAD...
My insurance is trying to drop me. Which without insurance covering my most recent doctor bills... it tallies up to a tidy $526 which I have none of. So I have to fight that tooth and nail because I paid off my freaking deductible earlier in the year and THEY CAN'T DROP ME TILL DECEMBER DAMMIT. I'M STILL 25.
*huff puff*
I knew... I shouldn't have gone to Naka. I didn't want to disappoint my friends so I went and I've been trying to catch up ever since. Don't get me wrong I had a great time... but the whole thing set me back quite a bit.
I really wasn't aware of how bad my situation was until about a month ago. I knew it was bad but the crescendo of stress hadn't quite reached it's climax just yet.
The bad thing is... this isn't even all of it. I'm not even going to mention personal relationships that are adding to all this mess.
Nothing comes easy.
Anyways, I'd like to thank you for your guys love and support. I really am doing my best to hold things together. My goal is to have badges and at least 3 raffle prizes mailed by the end of the week. Monday at the latest.
Regarding below: If your name is supposed to be there and it isn't. Don't wig out. I've got it in my master booklet of orders I'm just doing this from immedate memory.
COMMISSION STATUS:
Lolinterwebz - clay piece - Sculpted. Waiting on paint and glaze.
Mobi_Husky - Mobi shooting star. Waiting on mold to arrive in mail.
JTDragon - clay - not started
Lapres - 2 badges + gift - FINISHED, shipping soon
Neurotoxiclotus - Squid Pendant - Needs resin glaze to fix air pockets
Nyaasu - Gameboys, Heart, Carrot Bracelet. - Heart FINISHED, Blue GB FINISHED, Carrot Bracelet FINISHED, Green GB needs resin glaze. Need to contact.
NorthwestSpiritWolf - 2 Badges - Fixed hole, now needs filler to even out the layer and eliminate bump created by hole fix.
Neithie - Badge - Not started, need resin restock - need to contact for payment.
So... I'm not entirely sure what my recovery plan is, but once I do have the surgery I'm getting a full time and part time job. My sister and I will probably be looking for a roommate to alleviate some of the financial burden there but... once things are a bit more settled I'll begin the process of saving for a custom fursuit with the expendable income I may have from selling jewelry, selling on ebay, etc. We'll just have to see how it all plays out so obviously nothing is concrete or certain.
That being said... I'm doing my absolute best to work on commissions. They aren't being forgotten or neglected I'm just waiting on this weeks paycheck to have stuff ready to go out the door. Money has been that tight. I'll post a queue below with the various stages of completion on each person's order.
Now for the... life update venting part.
As you guys know I'm preparing for bariatric surgery. It may seem vain or unimportant to most folks who are unaware of the situation but frankly right now it's the most important thing thing in my life. Period. In terms of things I could do for myself to ensure that my quality of life in middle and old age is decent, this is paramount and takes precedence over everything else.
It is that important.
So there's that huge ball of stress hanging over my head. Especially knowing what failure could mean (infertility, early death, immobility, etc.).
I'm also buying a house. Yes. Buying. 62k home my sister and I are buying from my Uncle. Owner financed so it should be a fairly smooth transition but I work 2 and 3 days a week at my part time job for my Uncle and there's no way I can swing that and having utilities on the pay I currently earn. Forget eating. Thank god half my stomach is getting chopped off.
So I need to have a full time job before that can happen,
but I can't get a full time job until my surgery happens,
but I can't have my surgery until my Dad and Uncle's flipped house sells.
My Uncle expects us to move into this home as soon as he's moved into his new one. He's scheduled to close on it later this month.
AND ON TOP OF THIS LOVELY STRESS SALAD...
My insurance is trying to drop me. Which without insurance covering my most recent doctor bills... it tallies up to a tidy $526 which I have none of. So I have to fight that tooth and nail because I paid off my freaking deductible earlier in the year and THEY CAN'T DROP ME TILL DECEMBER DAMMIT. I'M STILL 25.
*huff puff*
I knew... I shouldn't have gone to Naka. I didn't want to disappoint my friends so I went and I've been trying to catch up ever since. Don't get me wrong I had a great time... but the whole thing set me back quite a bit.
I really wasn't aware of how bad my situation was until about a month ago. I knew it was bad but the crescendo of stress hadn't quite reached it's climax just yet.
The bad thing is... this isn't even all of it. I'm not even going to mention personal relationships that are adding to all this mess.
Nothing comes easy.
Anyways, I'd like to thank you for your guys love and support. I really am doing my best to hold things together. My goal is to have badges and at least 3 raffle prizes mailed by the end of the week. Monday at the latest.
Regarding below: If your name is supposed to be there and it isn't. Don't wig out. I've got it in my master booklet of orders I'm just doing this from immedate memory.
COMMISSION STATUS:
Lolinterwebz - clay piece - Sculpted. Waiting on paint and glaze.
Mobi_Husky - Mobi shooting star. Waiting on mold to arrive in mail.
JTDragon - clay - not started
Lapres - 2 badges + gift - FINISHED, shipping soon
Neurotoxiclotus - Squid Pendant - Needs resin glaze to fix air pockets
Nyaasu - Gameboys, Heart, Carrot Bracelet. - Heart FINISHED, Blue GB FINISHED, Carrot Bracelet FINISHED, Green GB needs resin glaze. Need to contact.
NorthwestSpiritWolf - 2 Badges - Fixed hole, now needs filler to even out the layer and eliminate bump created by hole fix.
Neithie - Badge - Not started, need resin restock - need to contact for payment.
So... I'm not entirely sure what my recovery plan is, but once I do have the surgery I'm getting a full time and part time job. My sister and I will probably be looking for a roommate to alleviate some of the financial burden there but... once things are a bit more settled I'll begin the process of saving for a custom fursuit with the expendable income I may have from selling jewelry, selling on ebay, etc. We'll just have to see how it all plays out so obviously nothing is concrete or certain.
Really hope everything goes well for you there.
Wishing you the best of luck.
Also thank you. It really does mean a lot to me. ;n;
Wishing you the best for everything <3
I try my best. Thank you hun. <3 I appreciate it.
You're welcome c: I won't lie, I keep feeling like this lately too. At least I can draw the shit out of my sadness sometimes.
Sometimes I try to draw my sadness but... it always comes out looking like a broken blob of... blob.
WITH COLOR!
Meep .w. at least it's yours! and then you can kill it by tearing the paper off. x3
Haha! Only problem is... I have been drawing it on the computer! I can't rip it!! Lol!
Use the eraser tool then! Or more black and smother it all over! Make it die, anyway! <3
You know, I vent on a somewhat regular basis. Sometimes it just feels soooo much better to get shit out there, even if it feels off.
There are people that can help or offer advice.
I really hope that everything goes well for you. When it rains, it pours. But then you usually get pretty green grass afterwards.
I'm just odd, but still I hope everything starts smoothing out for you.
Everything should be fine... it's just going to be rough waters for a little bit. =)
Don't forget that you have someone praying for you, and that you have a lot of love comin' off this way
And I'm always here for a joke when you need one of those, too <3
Thank you. I appreciate it.
I feel ya on con regrets... don't get me wrong I had an incredible time at Naka. I got to meet some really great people (you included :3) and I had a good time buuut it ended up being much heavier on the pocketbook than I would have liked. I have some friends trying to talk me into going to F3 or MFF but there's no way. Lol. I hope you have a great time at Comic-Con! So jelly! Lol. I probably wouldn't have passed up that opportunity either honestly. Haha!
Thank you. =) I'm a little nervous about surgery midst all this, BUT... in the long run it will be for the best. <3