As of this writing, Taze and I are no longer a couple.

I imagine every single one of you that reads that will lunge to give me sympathy. I understand and I love you guys for that. But the truth is... this really doesn't change much. Both Taze and I knew this was coming but refused to accept it for a long time.

Taze and I first became a couple in October 08. Our relationship has lasted almost 5 years. In that time, we've both grown from extremely self conscious people who lacked confidence entirely into... almost completely different people. We both understand what we want and need in a partner now. Most importantly, we've recognized that, ultimately, we work better as best friends than a couple.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not the type of person who can sanely be in a relationship. I have trust issues, severe paranoia, and extreme control issues, and will probably end up hurting anyone who calls me their mate. All of these issues contributed to near constant fighting between Taze and I, and ultimately drove a wedge between us.

Nothing drastic is changing. Taze will still live here, he'll help me out when I need it and we'll still likely share a bed... just as friends. We haven't been a couple for a long time and it wasn't until tonight that Taze forced me to confront this issue and, ultimately, accept it.

We're still going to do everything we used to, but just not call each other mates any more. He's still my friend, and I'm a friend to him, and like I said, we knew this was coming but didn't want to accept it.

In the end, we will both be better for it.

To all my friends that stuck with me through all the drama and fighting, thank you. I know it wasn't easy for you guys, and I deeply appreciate it. Those of you who are still around are true friends, and I don't expect any special treatment going forward because this happened.

I'm still just me, but single. And... that's the way it needs to be for both of us. I still love him, and always will. And for that reason, I need to let him go.