I don't know why I waited so long to do this. Maybe I was scared. Maybe I just needed to get my head straight, but for whatever it's worth, I'm so sorry for everything I did and said. To be completely transparent, you're like...IDK, a furry idol to me. You got the zen, stay outta drama thing down pat and it's something I've always admired you for. I wish I could have followed your example instead of letting myself get dragged into some shit that really never had anything to with me because it was always between shard and the AZ furry community. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't have regret for the shit that went down between all of us because I wanted to be a white knight on some dumb crusade to make everyone like shard. I was 100% responsible for all that drama. I wanted to blame everyone else for the way I was being treated at home, because he insisted it was the way everyone treated him that made him do the things he did. I won't go into how he treated me because I know you're still friends with him and I have enough respect for you not to do that, but know that it was bad...like call the police bad sometimes. Anyway, I really wanted to make it Billy's fault, or Streak's fault, or Shavii and Rayne, and Mystic's fault. When the good riddance party happened, I just lost it and went off without all the facts. I even remember thinking that there was no way Kart would do something like that. I was totally crushed. I couldn't just say, "meh, fuck that guy," about a perceived betrayal of someone I had so much respect for. I left the fandom and pretty much never left the house after that except to go to work. But really, I kinda deserved it, whether it happened how I thought it did or not. Anyway, I'm fucking rambling now. I wanted to not only apologize but also thank you for things that you did to help me before I ran off to Washington thinking it would make everything better (it didn't, things actually got worse).

1.) When you gave me the dry wall piece to fix the holes shard punched in the walls at my place.

2.) When you drove all the way out to Chandler to put that fuel pump in my RV because I was too scared of the spiderwebs to crawl under there and do it myself.

3.) That time shard came knocking on your door at 2 am because he bashed the front end of my car into a pole and you just jumped up and nigger rigged that shit for him so he could get it home without doing anymore damage. (Those zip ties are still going strong btw)

4.) That time you let me use your tools to fix the power cable on my laptop because my soldering iron and stuff were at work.

5.) That time you covered my buy-in on poker night because I did't know we were playing for money.

6.) When you hooked it up with some stuffing so I could finish my rainbow tiger tail.

7.) When you came to the house to unclog the drain in the shower so my roommates would stop flooding the house.

I'm sure there's more stuff that I either didn't know about or don't remember, but I think I got the big stuff. Anyway, thank you, for everything. I hope that some day you will find it in your heart to forgive me and if you ever need something, a cheap plane ticket, help in the garage or whatever, I hope you will not hesitate to ask.

Love and Light,
Chibi