Y'know that feeling when someone wounds you over and over and over, repeating the same callous mistake(s) again and again and again ... until you finally reach a point where even if they were to apologize (and ACTUALLY amend their behavior) ... you know that somewhere deep down, there's no way of repairing that friendship? That the damage is already done? That from that point onward, there's an emotional chasm that can never again be closed?

Finally hit that point tonight. The worst part is that it happened with someone I -really- thought was a true close friend, but ... true friends don't selfishly dump on people they CLAIM to care about like this, repeatedly. And there's just so many times that trust can be broken, before the damage is irreversible. Twice, now, within a 2 week span, I've had a complete emotional breakdown on the way home from what's supposed to be a pleasant hangout. For weeks ... months ... I've stomached a -lot- of pretty venomous bullshit. I've smothered a LOT of hurt indignant anger. I've bitten my tongue with a LOT of things I've wanted to say.

Little by little I've reached my breaking point. The first time was last week, the first time I finally fell apart. And then I allowed others to convince me that there was perhaps still a chance for things to be set right. Tonight proved to me that this is never going to be true, and I just can't take it anymore. It's BEYOND unfair for this person to keep treating me like this, for NO reason other than the selfish egotistical need to ALWAYS be right--and to hell how anyone else might feel due to their attitude. It feels like a slap in the face every time it happens, and now ... now I'm just done. BEYOND done. I've taken all I can handle of this crap.

It's not even that I hate them ... I just don't trust them anymore. Pure and simple. Maybe someday the resentment will ebb away enough to at least upgrade up to an acquaintance, but ... that's the best it can ever really become again, after everything that's happened. It's never going to be again the way it was before. Too much has been said and done for things to ever again be as they were. It sucks hard, but ... we do what we must to protect ourselves. A friendship without respect on a fundamental level ... isn't a friendship at all. And if this is how they're going to treat me from this point onward ... then it's a "friendship" I can very much do without.

Sorry for the rant after such a long time of being non-existent on here, but ... I needed to clear the air, with as broken-down as I am about all this. Especially since the offending party is also a furry. >_< I promise I'll -try- and come back with something more positive next time. I'm not always such a wet blanket, I swear. ;_;