I'll keep my smile and say I'm okay but I feel like shit. Nothing seems to be going right and when things do go right it all falls down. Certain times its like someone or something is telling me what I already know but I'll keep my smile on and pretend to be okay long as I have to be. Long as it keeps everyone else happy, I guess. But hey! Isn't that what life is. Not saying life sucks, no where near there but I will say at this moment. I'm in my own corner and the chains are out and locked. This is temporary and will be gone by tomorrow hopefully. Right now, I could really go work out. Just turn in music and go lift. Express my anger and sadness and frustration on the bag or ons bar or dumbbell. And play music. Block the world out for hours. Just to away for a moment. This is one of those times where I don't want to talk to anyone but I can't say that without there being se kind of reprimand... So to sleep I go, ready to tackle tomorrow with the same face I had this morning. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it. Really want to workout make the world to away for a few/ a lot of hours.