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Emotional Overload!!!
17 years ago
The Rantings of an Art Crazed Chow, Second verse, same as the first.
The mind is a complex thing, which makes mine more than complicated, it's down right confusing at times. lately I've been plagued by a range of emotions, some cued by music, others just spontaneous.
For example, is it normal to miss someone you hardly know? Such is the case with
aminebunny I have not heard from her in quite awhile and I would think that is just a passing thing, this person could be way too busy to be online or other things. Yet still I miss her and I hope she returns.
Lately, music have been a motivator either good or ill, depends on what I am doing. I would listen to a song over and over again until I'm either on the verge of tears, or worse. It's only music, just sounds, notes, mathematical equations. Yet, there I go, feeling sad and wishing for an outlet to express it.
Even reading something brings it on. Running across a blog or two, I read, and depending on the subject, I feel rage at what I read, or sadness if it is an event that was not good to the original poster. Sure, I'm behind a screen, typing on a keyboard, far removed from what is happening, but is it normal to feel so deeply?
Now the emotion of fear creeps in, fear that I may have gotten too sensitive for my own good. Having another who do not really feel the way I do, or for that matter care if sometimes I'm hurting inside does not help, yet because of my sensitive nature, I can't turn her away in the hopes that maybe, just maybe she understands. Because of this, I chose not to forge any new relationships, even close friendships for fear I might hurt someone or get hurt and allow it to continue for the sake of fighting off the loneliness.
Oh well, perhaps it may be an reluctant tool to use to further my expression, after all, it is said that an artist must suffer for their art, nobody said how that suffering should be carried out. I should regard it as a possible strength or if anything a weakness that is needed to retain that tiny thread of humanity I sometimes wish to forsake. At any case, I've bored you folks enough for now, time for me to get back to art and suffering. Cheers.
For example, is it normal to miss someone you hardly know? Such is the case with
aminebunny I have not heard from her in quite awhile and I would think that is just a passing thing, this person could be way too busy to be online or other things. Yet still I miss her and I hope she returns.Lately, music have been a motivator either good or ill, depends on what I am doing. I would listen to a song over and over again until I'm either on the verge of tears, or worse. It's only music, just sounds, notes, mathematical equations. Yet, there I go, feeling sad and wishing for an outlet to express it.
Even reading something brings it on. Running across a blog or two, I read, and depending on the subject, I feel rage at what I read, or sadness if it is an event that was not good to the original poster. Sure, I'm behind a screen, typing on a keyboard, far removed from what is happening, but is it normal to feel so deeply?
Now the emotion of fear creeps in, fear that I may have gotten too sensitive for my own good. Having another who do not really feel the way I do, or for that matter care if sometimes I'm hurting inside does not help, yet because of my sensitive nature, I can't turn her away in the hopes that maybe, just maybe she understands. Because of this, I chose not to forge any new relationships, even close friendships for fear I might hurt someone or get hurt and allow it to continue for the sake of fighting off the loneliness.
Oh well, perhaps it may be an reluctant tool to use to further my expression, after all, it is said that an artist must suffer for their art, nobody said how that suffering should be carried out. I should regard it as a possible strength or if anything a weakness that is needed to retain that tiny thread of humanity I sometimes wish to forsake. At any case, I've bored you folks enough for now, time for me to get back to art and suffering. Cheers.
I do feel happy today, and in the end, that is what counts.
Thanks again and Cheers.