...let go. So yeah, because I am shit at being calm, I am trying to use strategic little moves to help myself achieve that state of mind ever so far away. Like acquiring some William Gibson novels on my kindle. Been meaning to dabble and immerse myself in some cyberpunk genre shite these days.

My insomnia has been doing way worse. And sleep has been rather tricky to acquire in my own bed, though it seems it has a weakness for Mythbusters when I'm laying on the couch XD Those guys are relaxing as fuck to watch when stressed.

Would kill for a bottle of coke that I owned >>; Scorp seriously, you're killing me with that unopened little bottle of goodness in the fridge XD
Anyway, trying to maintain a shite bit of sanity and mental stability trying not to think of the fact that I just haven't been able to write a damned thing of late due to, you guessed it, stress ^^;

Yeah, I have this mental image when I visualize myself trying to relax. You ever see someone make a really awkward and disturbing "strained" kind of face? I keep imagining that being the look upon my countenance when I am trying to relax, it takes so much goddamn effort ^^; can't I just write freely even if I feel like total shite? And why must my limbs feel like lead and not only prevent me from doing anything worth noting, but doing basic aspects of survival as well?

*sighs* So yeah, I am gonna smoke a cigarette (or twelve) and read Neuromancer while listening to Mythbusters on netflix. >>; 8:14 am, haven't slept yet, this journal has taken almost an hour to write...