This is what's been on my mind for the past two months. Only a select few had been told up to this point, because I didn't want everybody worrying about something that might not even happen. A month or so ago, we had the landlords drop by, and make a 'surprise' inspection. The lawn hadn't been mowed in months, as neither I nor my father are capable, and the landscaper has been MIA, that was their only point of contention about the condition of the property.

It was after the inspection that they began to talk with my parents. I stood and listened for as long as I could. One of them wants to sell the house, which would mean getting us and our stuff out to make repairs and updates to the wiring and plumbing, fixing up several things. The other, just wants to fix the place up, which would still mean us not living here for a time while the work is being done.

Last year, before everything with Skye, we had arranged ahead of time not to pay rent for three months, to get our financial situation in order. This was an agreed upon one-time situation.. And it, along with the occasional late payments my parents have had to make, came up in the discussion. It's become too much of a financial burden to them to keep the house at the current rent level, and while they "..don't want to kick us out, we may need to look for more reliable tenants.."

So out situation is this: We're facing potential eviction, because of our financial history with these landlords. If they sell the place, even if the person buying is planning on renting it out, it's not likely we'll be kept on as tenants. Then, last week, my father tells me "We're not going to pay rent again." and my mother backs it up by telling me we'll be clearing out her piles of magazines and getting ready to move. Add to that last night, that Dad's sent a letter to the landlords, telling them that we are, indeed, not going to pay rent.

It's no longer a risk, or speculation.. I'm fully expecting an eviction notice by the end of this month. I talked to my dad, and he doesn't know where we'll go.. There's been no preparation for this, no pre-thought, nothing to get things in order as far as I can tell before deciding to basically slap the people allowing us to live in their house across the face. All I can hope is that Dad's job holds steady until we can find a new place, maybe closer to where he works. Or that he gets the better paying job that an old co-worker just lined up for him, and we find a place closer to it..

The point of this journal isn't to whine, it's to help explain why I have been, and likely will continue to be distant.. It's not any of you, I'm just scared, and trying to stay sane through this mess..