I do try to do that. but he is one that doesnt like change so.... we will see..... Thank you

Thank you

It sounds like you're both stressed. I've been through this before and it does suck. I was able to talk to my mate about it, explained my side of things and he explained his side. We just came to an understanding and it seemed to help but every couple is different. Idk what would work best with you two. I would usually say go out and have some fun. Go on a date or something and relax, have fun and enjoy eachother's company but Idk if that would help or not.

thank you. i would love to go out and do stuff but with our moving... we are trying to save money. but thanks for the ideas

Don't have to spend money to spend time. Even going on a walk and talking or...w/e you two like to do. Lol. Could always get creative with it. :P

im not trying to be impossible but he works third shift so it takes up most of the evening till 12:30 am..... and is sleeping most of the morning. So spending time out and about its difficult... and i dont like watching the same movies over and over.... >.< i can be complicated too.... but just seems he is the needy one right now

Oh this is easy...
So my mate and I have been married for 4 years. We've had MAJOR ups and downs...
During times like these I have to find a hobby to immerse myself in. It sounds like Im avoiding confrontation but in all honesty, sometimes people just need time to settle things in their mind. If you've shown an effort in trying to spend time with one another but he just seems reluctant right now, or always picking fights... then you just do something that makes you happy!

He'll come around and notice that youre happy and miss spending time with you! This in turn will work in your favor and make you more desirable for him. Independence is ALWAYS an attractive thing. *not that you aren't independent or dependent on him, just in general*

It's SO NORMAL for people to bicker and have even huge stupid fights for, what seems like a good long period of time. It's just the stress one or both is having.

When he's in a good mood one day... just sit next to him, bring him a snack or something lol, and just ask if there is any reason for him being soooo "irritated" lately. If he says he hasn't notice or nothing... then its just stress from everyday life and nothing to worry about.

thank you. i try to do that already but he just isnt really making it easy

I totally understand that one as well! Lol

I say get away for a few days. Distance makes the heart grow finder as well! We're military so that happens to us whether we like it or not and it does help kinda break us when we get stuck in ruts here and there. Sometimes... Cause I'm super close with my family... I go visit home for a week or 2. This helps me unwind and kinda go out with my girl friends and just relax. Then when I get home, we're super excited to see one another cause I was gone for a bit and that helps get his attention at least for a week or so.

the funny thing is though i was gone for 3 days at sister Oreo's house and i come home and bam problems.... so is distance the best. i come home in a good mood to see him but somehow it doesnt end well

hmmm there may be underlining problems then. You might want to ask him if there is something up that he isn't letting you in on. That just sounds like odd behavior

As a man who has been married 9 years fights happen. Really bad ones sometimes. Might just need space or time to ask about what's bothering him.

thanks Bracabrad. Comming from a man it is good to know that something stated could work.

Would it also help to say that as a guy who's done what your husband is doing it's really just (in my case) the loss of "freedom" and having to be a grown up. Having to make hard decisions that involve someone who isn't yourself can be an ass pain. especially if you are trying to shrug off ingrained behaviors like doing it solo because you're "the man".

that helps alot. I hope he sees that its time to grow up but i wish it wouldnt be taken out on me.

It's a proximity thing. The closer you are the more likely you are to receive the brunt of it. Do you have any close family members? like parents of siblings? They tend to be a good outlet to sound stuff off of.
That or an aggression outlet.

.... mom is my outlet but she has a weird way of thinking so its hard to communicate with her about it. So not really... that is why i came on here.....

Eh, just stay at my place until he misses you lol.