I know how you feel in terms of being used. It hurts like hell, especially when the user was supposed to be a friend.
Sometimes I, too, despair of finding love. I've only had one girlfriend, and she ended up just breaking off without saying a word. That was several years ago, and I've been lonesome ever since.
I love Boneflower (the anthropomorphic female ermine I write about), but as far as I know, she only exists in another universe where the events in my stories are reality, so a romantic relationship with her is a little challenging.

All I can think of is a line from The Count of Monte Cristo — "Wait and hope!" It's damned hard to do that, but the alternative — shrouded in blinding, lacerating darkness — is too dreadful to consider.