Depression has been kicking my ass. Waves of it just come crashing down on me outta nowhere and of no known cause. People keep calling it attitude and try to cheer me up, but there's no use... I don't know if it's work, stress, jealousy, or what, but I can't stand just sitting around dreading my low feelings.

I've also been getting shitty commissions for my moneys worth, and the commissioner isn't returning my messages... I bought a $40 gender bend pic of my mate and I, and it looked more like a $12 piece... I'm so sick of artists taking advantage of my money and not listening to what I have to say.

Work has been punching me in the face everyday I go in. I want to apply to more dog shops (of the sort), but I'm the world's worst procrastinator and have only done one... You have no idea guys. The town I live in is full of spoiled citizens with nothing better to do then ruin my day. Almost every customer asks for things that I can't give them and they take it out on me. Because the business I work for is a bitch in any way possible, I have to just stand and apologize for my behavior and helplessness. I HATE IT THERE! I have had several breakdowns in the restroom while on the clock because my coworkers don't listen nor care, so I have no one to vent to. Even my mate and his friends hardly work, so what's the point talking to them. They have no clue what I go through since they work in another town filled with much sweeter folk. UGH! I can't stand it! I also have a phobia of having a best friend (from a past experience), so I have no one to talk to. I usually talk with my mate, but he has enough on his plate as it is so I don't wanna stress him out even more!

*pants and whimpers* Fuck... I hate everything right now... Nothing is working out for me at the moment... I'm so sick of this... I'm so done...