FA+
Shop
[Soline] So, I'm back...mostly (Several topics!)
12 years ago
(Skip to the bottom for stuff regarding pictures and stuff!)
((Also, I'm away over the weekend, so don't get all antsy just because I don't respond for a few days))
So, I've kinda been gone for a long while. The occasional upload here and there, but in spirit I've been gone, not responded, not engaged or spoken really. For various reasons, none of which I'll bother going into detail about to keep this short, I kind of mentally ran away and left this site; save to upload the occasional doodle or story. (My last real journal was 9 months ago, for example). So, among several updates, I'm now back.
Of course, nine months gap means there are several things to cover, so apologies for the length of this (skip to the bottom for fun stuff about uploads and commissions). I don't really want to have to be the selfish, mean person saying all this, but it needs to be said I think. I've wanted to say this all for a while now, but just haven't been able to write it without coming off harshly, this is the best I could do.
1. I'll be going through and deleting my vast mass of notes dating back six years, and I'll be reading and responding to the 91 unopened notes I've avoided (This doesn't mean I'll be responding to them all, some might be pointless responding to now, for example.), and also will be attempting to read and respond to stuff as soon as I see it, rather than putting off or forgetting about it. Same goes for shouts and comments
2. One of the reasons I left was because I was unable, and still struggle to, say "NO". I hate the thought of missed opportunities, and dislike turning anyone down (I've never refused a commission or trade) because I don't like judging books by their covers and so on, but it also meant my instinctive response whenever I wanted to say no, was simply to run away and ignore the problem. I've been working on this. So an unfortunate warning to people, be prepared for hurt, because I will be refusing contact details and so on when I do not want to give them. This doesn't necessarily mean I want nothing to do with them, or that they've done something to upset me, being able to contact me on whatever messaging service is not a 'reward' for pushing the correct 'Soline-Button' or something.
3. Similarly, /I/ will give out my contact details, and no one else. If someone tells you my usernames (which incidentally I see as a massive breach of trust) you do not have permission to add me. If you happen to guess correctly and find me, you do not have permission to add me. I'm available to be contacted through FA and Eka's. You can of course ask for my details. And I may say no.
4. No more drama. One of the biggest reasons I ran was because of just so much complaining, people constantly upset or miserable or depressed or arguing with others. I'm not a psychologist, and I'm quite broken in my own ways, which just makes it even more aggravating to have to interact with people who do nothing but moan and have 'problems'. And it's upsetting in its own right because there is nothing I can do to help. I come to FA and Online to escape my life and spend some time being able to freely be myself and spend time with people I want to spend time with. But each time I try to open myself up to people and allow friends in, the number of people who just suck any fun or pleasure I get out of my escape start to grow and grow and grow. It's selfish, I know it is, but I'm done. I refuse to be friends with people who offer nothing but upset and need in return. Everyone has ups and downs and everyone has problems, I suffer from depression, and occasionally fall into slumps, and sometimes something really shit comes up in life, I don't mind dealing with this, consoling a friend, offering advice, being a virtual shoulder for them is part and parcel of friendship and I'm entirely happy to do as much. But when the entire friendship is nothing but me being a shoulder, then it's just not a friendship; and I'm cutting these off before they even start from now on, because they've consistently reached points where said 'friend' insists I'm their only friend and the only reason they get up in the morning, and I feel awful about even thinking of giving up with them.
5. The easiest way to ensure we never become friends is to stalk me. Checking to see if I've read your note, and sending another one asking why I haven't responded yet is stalking (Unless it's been weeks or something, a legitimate reason to think I've forgotten), asking other people about me, or tracking me down elsewhere, or complaining that I'm talking to others and not you. This is all not good behaviour. I've never blacklisted anyone before, but I'm going to start blacklisting people that consistently do things like this. An awful 'friendship' in the past has made me inherently afraid of opening notes and messages (which is why I have 91 unread messages) because he would bombard me with new notes each time I read one and didn't respond immediately.
6. No more roleplaying. For good. If your only interest in me is to rp, give up and go now, because the answer is a flat out no. This is in fact a lie, I adore roleplaying, and much like the above, I'm not going to stop enjoying my time here because some people make me unhappy. I still roleplay with some, and there are some I still want to get to know better and maybe play with. But if we haven't played or even spoken in a while, chances are I'm just not interested. Though from now on I will be flat out turning down people if I'm just not interested. Please don't take offence; it just means I'm aware I'll get no enjoyment from rping with you, and don't think it's fair I should give up my time just so you can get off. Roleplaying is collaborative story writing, it just happens to be interactive and predominantly sexy; I think a lot of people don't quite understand the interest and enjoyment has to go both ways.
7. No more pets/relationships. And in addition I'm terminating all the relationships I have. Again, this is a lie. I'll be keeping a handful, and I'll still be open to the concept with close enough friends, but for all intents and purposes I am no longer doing that sort of thing, and again, for similar reasons to all of the above, people seem to believe being pets or mates entitles them to extra attention, gifts, roleplays, or gives them some privilege others don't have. Another 'push the right Soline sequence until sexy material falls out'. It is, or it should be, the reverse, friends and people who already have that extra attention because of the friendship may choose to create a relationship of some kind. A relationship should be defined by the friendship it's built on, not the other way round. And almost all of my 'pets and mates' are the inverse, I barely ever see them, a few fall into the complaining category, and others expect artwork, gifts, attention; Add to this the fact that I never really even wanted a lot of the relationships, I just went with it because they made my friends happy...So yes, as with RP's, if you are only trying to contact me in order to become my pet or mate. Forget it.
__________________
Ok then...with all of that out of the way, onto more fun stuff regarding content!!!
I've hopefully almost got a job (fingers crossed oh GOD fingers crossed!) so my plan to open this and try to create some needed revenue isn't quite so urgent, however...I still need money, and this is something I've wanted to do for awhile.
I was thinking of doing the Iron Artist Challenge. The funds would be very much appreciated, and plus I feel I'm kinda slow at art, I'd like the challenge to try and improve myself.
100 slots, either $5 or $10 per sketch for a single character, with additional characters costing an additional $5, maybe up to a maximum of three characters? Any and all content, extras (like the toys in the below link) would be free, so would limbs and bulges and whatnot for vore pictures.
[Url=http://www.furaffinity.net/view/109.....33/]This]/url] is what the sketches would look like, probably with a few more wayward lines (I'm trying to get better at speedy sketching, the perfectionist in me keeps wanting to undo every non-perfectly placed line >.<).
Would anyone be interested in this? Any alterations I should make do you think? are the prices fair?
I really don't want to jump on the YCH bandwagon, partially because I don't like the idea of auctions really, and partially because it's being spammed all over the place....and I'm kinda afraid what people would pay if they had a choice in the matter.
I was, however, thinking of doing a Vore Tournament thing similar to Stank's contest? Only written, since stories are my forte it seems :p. I was thinking, contestants can enter for $30 and get a guaranteed 3,000+ word story about them (the first round), people vote on who wins the round, can buy votes for $1 a vote, perhaps only as many as there are free votes though? (so a contestant with 50 people voting for them, can only have 50 votes bought). Perhaps starting out with 8 contestants. If the contest is successful perhaps doing more?
Any other ideas?
Thanks for reading this damn essay xD
((Also, I'm away over the weekend, so don't get all antsy just because I don't respond for a few days))
So, I've kinda been gone for a long while. The occasional upload here and there, but in spirit I've been gone, not responded, not engaged or spoken really. For various reasons, none of which I'll bother going into detail about to keep this short, I kind of mentally ran away and left this site; save to upload the occasional doodle or story. (My last real journal was 9 months ago, for example). So, among several updates, I'm now back.
Of course, nine months gap means there are several things to cover, so apologies for the length of this (skip to the bottom for fun stuff about uploads and commissions). I don't really want to have to be the selfish, mean person saying all this, but it needs to be said I think. I've wanted to say this all for a while now, but just haven't been able to write it without coming off harshly, this is the best I could do.
1. I'll be going through and deleting my vast mass of notes dating back six years, and I'll be reading and responding to the 91 unopened notes I've avoided (This doesn't mean I'll be responding to them all, some might be pointless responding to now, for example.), and also will be attempting to read and respond to stuff as soon as I see it, rather than putting off or forgetting about it. Same goes for shouts and comments
2. One of the reasons I left was because I was unable, and still struggle to, say "NO". I hate the thought of missed opportunities, and dislike turning anyone down (I've never refused a commission or trade) because I don't like judging books by their covers and so on, but it also meant my instinctive response whenever I wanted to say no, was simply to run away and ignore the problem. I've been working on this. So an unfortunate warning to people, be prepared for hurt, because I will be refusing contact details and so on when I do not want to give them. This doesn't necessarily mean I want nothing to do with them, or that they've done something to upset me, being able to contact me on whatever messaging service is not a 'reward' for pushing the correct 'Soline-Button' or something.
3. Similarly, /I/ will give out my contact details, and no one else. If someone tells you my usernames (which incidentally I see as a massive breach of trust) you do not have permission to add me. If you happen to guess correctly and find me, you do not have permission to add me. I'm available to be contacted through FA and Eka's. You can of course ask for my details. And I may say no.
4. No more drama. One of the biggest reasons I ran was because of just so much complaining, people constantly upset or miserable or depressed or arguing with others. I'm not a psychologist, and I'm quite broken in my own ways, which just makes it even more aggravating to have to interact with people who do nothing but moan and have 'problems'. And it's upsetting in its own right because there is nothing I can do to help. I come to FA and Online to escape my life and spend some time being able to freely be myself and spend time with people I want to spend time with. But each time I try to open myself up to people and allow friends in, the number of people who just suck any fun or pleasure I get out of my escape start to grow and grow and grow. It's selfish, I know it is, but I'm done. I refuse to be friends with people who offer nothing but upset and need in return. Everyone has ups and downs and everyone has problems, I suffer from depression, and occasionally fall into slumps, and sometimes something really shit comes up in life, I don't mind dealing with this, consoling a friend, offering advice, being a virtual shoulder for them is part and parcel of friendship and I'm entirely happy to do as much. But when the entire friendship is nothing but me being a shoulder, then it's just not a friendship; and I'm cutting these off before they even start from now on, because they've consistently reached points where said 'friend' insists I'm their only friend and the only reason they get up in the morning, and I feel awful about even thinking of giving up with them.
5. The easiest way to ensure we never become friends is to stalk me. Checking to see if I've read your note, and sending another one asking why I haven't responded yet is stalking (Unless it's been weeks or something, a legitimate reason to think I've forgotten), asking other people about me, or tracking me down elsewhere, or complaining that I'm talking to others and not you. This is all not good behaviour. I've never blacklisted anyone before, but I'm going to start blacklisting people that consistently do things like this. An awful 'friendship' in the past has made me inherently afraid of opening notes and messages (which is why I have 91 unread messages) because he would bombard me with new notes each time I read one and didn't respond immediately.
6. No more roleplaying. For good. If your only interest in me is to rp, give up and go now, because the answer is a flat out no. This is in fact a lie, I adore roleplaying, and much like the above, I'm not going to stop enjoying my time here because some people make me unhappy. I still roleplay with some, and there are some I still want to get to know better and maybe play with. But if we haven't played or even spoken in a while, chances are I'm just not interested. Though from now on I will be flat out turning down people if I'm just not interested. Please don't take offence; it just means I'm aware I'll get no enjoyment from rping with you, and don't think it's fair I should give up my time just so you can get off. Roleplaying is collaborative story writing, it just happens to be interactive and predominantly sexy; I think a lot of people don't quite understand the interest and enjoyment has to go both ways.
7. No more pets/relationships. And in addition I'm terminating all the relationships I have. Again, this is a lie. I'll be keeping a handful, and I'll still be open to the concept with close enough friends, but for all intents and purposes I am no longer doing that sort of thing, and again, for similar reasons to all of the above, people seem to believe being pets or mates entitles them to extra attention, gifts, roleplays, or gives them some privilege others don't have. Another 'push the right Soline sequence until sexy material falls out'. It is, or it should be, the reverse, friends and people who already have that extra attention because of the friendship may choose to create a relationship of some kind. A relationship should be defined by the friendship it's built on, not the other way round. And almost all of my 'pets and mates' are the inverse, I barely ever see them, a few fall into the complaining category, and others expect artwork, gifts, attention; Add to this the fact that I never really even wanted a lot of the relationships, I just went with it because they made my friends happy...So yes, as with RP's, if you are only trying to contact me in order to become my pet or mate. Forget it.
__________________
Ok then...with all of that out of the way, onto more fun stuff regarding content!!!
I've hopefully almost got a job (fingers crossed oh GOD fingers crossed!) so my plan to open this and try to create some needed revenue isn't quite so urgent, however...I still need money, and this is something I've wanted to do for awhile.
I was thinking of doing the Iron Artist Challenge. The funds would be very much appreciated, and plus I feel I'm kinda slow at art, I'd like the challenge to try and improve myself.
100 slots, either $5 or $10 per sketch for a single character, with additional characters costing an additional $5, maybe up to a maximum of three characters? Any and all content, extras (like the toys in the below link) would be free, so would limbs and bulges and whatnot for vore pictures.
[Url=http://www.furaffinity.net/view/109.....33/]This]/url] is what the sketches would look like, probably with a few more wayward lines (I'm trying to get better at speedy sketching, the perfectionist in me keeps wanting to undo every non-perfectly placed line >.<).
Would anyone be interested in this? Any alterations I should make do you think? are the prices fair?
I really don't want to jump on the YCH bandwagon, partially because I don't like the idea of auctions really, and partially because it's being spammed all over the place....and I'm kinda afraid what people would pay if they had a choice in the matter.
I was, however, thinking of doing a Vore Tournament thing similar to Stank's contest? Only written, since stories are my forte it seems :p. I was thinking, contestants can enter for $30 and get a guaranteed 3,000+ word story about them (the first round), people vote on who wins the round, can buy votes for $1 a vote, perhaps only as many as there are free votes though? (so a contestant with 50 people voting for them, can only have 50 votes bought). Perhaps starting out with 8 contestants. If the contest is successful perhaps doing more?
Any other ideas?
Thanks for reading this damn essay xD
I stopped being interested in RPing with you once I learned your preferences regarding digestion. ^^; But I'm always open for trying to be friendly with the people I watch, if you ever feel like it. : )
Welcome back and such.
Oh my god, this. DX So much this. Hell, I could probably repost the entire top half of your journal because it pretty much applies to me, too. Ugh. Fucking... god. Everybody just.... wat. D:
Aww please don't worry about being away from here for so long, I was away for a very long time on FA and DA for about 8 months due to college
Really sorry to hear about the stress you are going through, I really hope all the best for you. I understand what it feels like to be under a lot of pressure. Your rant totally makes sense and I hope that these new rules will help you feel better.
And good luck on that job!
and I seriously hope everything will work out for you.