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Really Moving and How I Feel
12 years ago
I have decided to move out. I've been wanting to and I kept my promise of seeing how things went around here during this school term.
Home, things are not getting better and there is nothing but the endless cycle of lies, fighting, and empty promises. Seeing stepdad actually cutting up drugs on a mirror yesterday was the final straw for me.
So I am moving up north to San Jose with a friend in August. I am happy, saddened, and scared.
I want to finish school and am scared and sad, but I cannot stay where I am for another year. This environment is affecting my school from being able to attend class to being unable to pay attention and tired due to trying to get work done and all the fighting every hour of the day when they are home.
I feel like I am going to end up like one of those drop outs and end up with nothing going for them, but I do not want that and will do my best so.
I plan to get a job, possibly 2 if I can manage (and hopefully handle) since will have to start paying bills (especially student loans). This is all new to me and I am nervous because I still do not know how to do all this and be an 'adult'.
I also plan on pursuing acting jobs both big and small because I miss and love performing, I just wish I didn't waste so much time into doing something I now feel doesn't fit me. Sometimes I kind of wish we had cutiemarks, you know? Then deciding what schools and places to go would be a lot easier lol.
Eventually, after saving up money and rebuilding my life, I will see about finishing school (if they let me) and think about attending a better school, hopefully a real university, for acting and music.
In the mean time, I will be working on my writing and drawing to see if I can get better and make some money as well.
Home, things are not getting better and there is nothing but the endless cycle of lies, fighting, and empty promises. Seeing stepdad actually cutting up drugs on a mirror yesterday was the final straw for me.
So I am moving up north to San Jose with a friend in August. I am happy, saddened, and scared.
I want to finish school and am scared and sad, but I cannot stay where I am for another year. This environment is affecting my school from being able to attend class to being unable to pay attention and tired due to trying to get work done and all the fighting every hour of the day when they are home.
I feel like I am going to end up like one of those drop outs and end up with nothing going for them, but I do not want that and will do my best so.
I plan to get a job, possibly 2 if I can manage (and hopefully handle) since will have to start paying bills (especially student loans). This is all new to me and I am nervous because I still do not know how to do all this and be an 'adult'.
I also plan on pursuing acting jobs both big and small because I miss and love performing, I just wish I didn't waste so much time into doing something I now feel doesn't fit me. Sometimes I kind of wish we had cutiemarks, you know? Then deciding what schools and places to go would be a lot easier lol.
Eventually, after saving up money and rebuilding my life, I will see about finishing school (if they let me) and think about attending a better school, hopefully a real university, for acting and music.
In the mean time, I will be working on my writing and drawing to see if I can get better and make some money as well.
And about those student loans, you can most likely get a deferment and put it off for quite a while. Just don't think of it as a long-term/permanent solution. But you can put it off long enough to take care of more immediate concerns.
I hope for you the opportunities you need to stay good inside.