I sure hope not, 'cause I probably say weird shit...

I'm going to massage therapy school now. Might've mentioned that before but, here, read it again! I'm almost finished with it, actually. Only about a hundred and fifty more hours before I can attempt to acquire my license to legally touch people all over their bodies.

Well no, I lied. I can sit for the test wheneverthefuck I want, but I can't actually receive my license even if I pass it prematurely until I've completed six hundred hours of body therapy schooling.

I'm currently proficient in full body deep tissue therapeutic massage... the first thing I learned... which is seventy-five minutes of me making people feel totally awesome while they lie practically or completely naked on a table for me. We were taught to put those electric heating blankets on our tables. Ooooo, warm.

I'm proficient in pretty basic reflexology - which is where I access every part of your body through your hands, your feet, and... your ears. Which, just so you know, are shaped like fetuses. This is supposed to help... do... something? I'unno, most people go get it because it focuses heavily on massaging of the feet. Mmmm, feet. But it's supposed to massage a lot more. There's this part where I jam my finger into your big toe to wake up your brain or something... don'taskforreflexologyever.


I'm proficient in Nuad Bo-Rarn - the traditional massage of Thailand. People also call it the martial arts of massage 'cause it's just yoga for lazy people who want me to put them into yoga positions and hold it for them while they get all the benefits of the stretch but don't get tired out holding it themselves. The practitioner, so I've experienced, tends to look like a martial artist dancing around and on top of the client while also folding them into a metaphorical pretzel. It's a lot of fun, but it's also a work out. I've also learned that staring at candles without blinking for as long as possible is probably damaging to my eyeballs. I won't be trying this form of meditation ever again.

Believe it or not, I'm also a stage two Reiki practitioner. I can magically heal you without touching you via energy of the universe (or whatever higher power you wanna believe in). I mean, I can touch you if I want, it'll make the experience a lot, uh... awesome-er, really, but I don't NEED to touch you for it to work. Soon enough, I'll be a Reiki MASTER and be able to teach other people how to do it. How kickass is that?

I've also become certified in CPR. I learned about AAAIIIIIDDDSSSSSS and HIV, as well as hepatitis... ew. And I've been re-taught a shitton of anatomy I probably didn't need to re-learn but found it too fascinating to pass up thus doing it anyway.

Have I mentioned my classes are kind'a, like, daycare for adults? "Now, who wants to lay on the table and get a massage!? It's okay if you take a nap, it's all just practice! After massage/nap time, we're all gonna meditate in a circle where we'll play some lovely piano music with birds chirping and ocean waves crashing in the background... and then it's lunch time!" <_< Yeah, that's... every class I take, just about.

BUT, THE POINT OF MY JOURNAL DOO-DAD IS THIS: Massage is actually a lot of hard work, and it kills my hands. Between juggling my very randomized classes and going out on five-hour train rides away to see my boyfriend for extended periods of time, well... I don't get a lot of time to draw (or the hand power to do so after hours of massaging). I'm still taking commissions... even though no one's interested in them >n>... But hey! The good news is that one of my massage teachers is hiring me in the near future to paint an underwater mural on the wall of her incoming grandchild! How sweet is that!? Needless to say, this is all why I haven't been posting a whole lot. Honestly, if people... commissioned me more... I'd probably put more out. ;n; But I know that's not how this business works, blergh. Anyway, later guys!