Please do not do anything stupid. ='(

Because it doesn't solve any problems and develops a crutch that ends up hurting you in the end.

That's true but I it'll ease the mental and emotional beatdown I've got going right now. Something had to give and that was pretty much it. Call me weak if you want but (at least for tonight) I'm waving the white flag of surrender.

do you need to talk dude?

I don't know what I need. Maybe reincarnated into something worth a damn? I'm just so tired of failing no matter what I do. All i feel like I am is a millstone around the necks of those I care about including you.

After 34 years I've got pretty much fuck all to show for it. Sure, I'm nice to talk to and try to be a decent person but that pretty puts me in the same spot as a dumb, overly friendly dog. I suck at everything I do no matter how hard I try. My best is average for everyone else. Every time I try to improve myself in some way it either accomplishes nothing or completely blows up in my face. I'm tired of it.

I'm too much of a coward to end it or I fuck it up somehow when I get the balls to do so. I'm to the point of throwing some clothes in a backpack and walking out to the door to never loo back. I hate being a burden on everyone around me. I hate being a failure. I hate being this useless, weak, pathetic thing. I don't even value myself as a person anymore.

I'm just mentally and emotionally done right now.

You're not a burden, and while I may not know what you're going through exactly, I'm here to help. Don't hurt yourself, just get what you need to out of your system tonight; I'll listen when you're ready to share.

Never fear! I fail even to buy booze apparently. Got to the liquor store exactly 3 minutes after they closed. Aren't I just the most useless?

.....

Well on the good side liquor is a depressive, i dont see how is that going to help you :o

Your so much more then you give yourself credit for Tango, god damn it, youve got a roof over your head and living with the women you love of ??? how many decades now? youve survived my failed relationship, youve still got a job i got fired from, im back living with my mom because i cant afford a place of my own, i have the added burden of car repair bills i barely keep up on, and yes i saw your post earlier about how much you make and that surprised me,

you befriended me, one of maybe 3 people i have the awesome pleasure of calling my best friend and brother, you have the ability to talk people down from almost anything where i would have just given up or hit someone, you work hard and make an honest living, you could be far worse off but you will never let yourself stoop that low, i swear you do anything stupid and i WILL beg Kris to have one of her voodoo aunts raise your ass just so i can slap you around then put you down myself,

Never stop believeing in yourself, you have gotten yourself to a better position then most people can say, all you have to do is look around you, especially at bayside and see people who are worse off then you, im your friend and damn it im here if you need me, call me, text me i dont care, you need help with bills or anything give me a hollar and ill do my best to help; you out as youve helped me for so many years

*hugs* Thanks man. I'm doing better now after having talked things over with Vizaxyn.