My dad's fiance/lover just got word to my IRL bros, who got word to my mom and then got word to ME that my dad has been rushed to a hospital after he started talking "incoherently", crying and/or saying something about his mother/my grandma who passed away years ago to that god-awful disease Alzheimer.

There is a chance I will lose my dad to that god-awful disease but even so, I cant wish I would like to lose my dad in ANYWAY whatsoever because all the OTHER possible causes of death are far from "pretty". (the other being heart attack-related)

When I hear stuff like this it hits me hard, but not hard enough apparently to make me remember that I am most likely to follow in my dad's footsteps if I dont do something. I really want to do some exercise (spelling) but I either cant find the right moment, day or excuse to do so... Lately I've noticed my heart beat going a little out of whack and at first I thought it was too much sugar because last time it was that but now Im starting to think its something else. Either too much junk food or lack of good sleep are my only guess along with lack of exercise slowing creeping up on me.

Whats more depressing about this is the fact there is a treadmill at the house that everyone uses as a clothes-hanger that I could use but I dont want anyone to poke fun at me for it and there is a park nearby with a cycling road that I could use but for the same reason as the treadmill I dont want to go there.

I really need to get my head OUT of the games and into "the game".