Dear  vixus,

I don't really know hot to tell you this, but the maffia wants you.
I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey outside of your office and I saw you drive over my boyfriend.
And I am sure that you're sterile enough to understand the middle-east is planning their revenge on you.
I'm returning your love letters to me but keeping your glass eye as a memory.
You should also know that I never will forget that night and I have a passionate interest for mice.

Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore,
~Alsatian

For more information: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4848384/