Dear watchers,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but, I'm joining the Convent. I think I realized it when you when one of your dogs humped my leg Outside of the office and I saw you hit on The Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're sterile enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your your balls but keeping your virginity as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore,

-Alyx