i love how all year long i see everyone elses birthday's go by and in come all the gift art uploads and images of presents and stuff.

Yeah, im jealous. I cant afford to do anything for anyone so i give people art. Ive never been able to afford art for myself .. go ahead and go through my gallery, see all the art people have bought me.. theres VERY little there..and the gifts that are there are from years and years ago or are VERY recent.

The One time someone says,.'oh hey, ill get you some artwork for your 22nd birthday! you deserve it!' i jump on it,.i get excited,..

..and i wait and wait,...

..for TWO YEARS..and still nothing.

i never bothered him about it,.i mentioned it a year later on my 23rd birthday and he said,.''she hasnt been open for commissions''.

now my birthday has circled around again and its my 24th birthday,.and still no word..the artist had commissions open last month but no word from my friend who had made the promise.

Yes i understand people aren't made of money, but over the years i can list on two hands the amount of art he's gotten for himself, never setting any money aside for the gift he promised me and giving me excuses when i ask about it.

He has art of his fursona that probably cost 100$+

I wouldn't mind if he had just said he didn't want to do it anymore.

But he NEVER said that, he says,.'im going to do it, i promise, i haven't forgotten about you' when its freaking painfully obvious that he has.

i have tried to hangout with him in the past, but ever since i lost my job and my land in SecondLife, he hasn't wanted anything to do with me. He hasn't poked me, or anything. He was chatty enough when i let him live with me..but now that i just cant afford it,.i'm all but forgotten.

i hate how i am so overlooked,.how i get very little support from watchers and friends..and until recently, i got excuses and 'do it yourself' when i request help.

After everything ive done for people in the past when they needed it, all the people i supported and comforted the best i could to make sure they knew someone had their back,.i am grossly under appreciated.

It makes me not want to even try anymore...maybe i'll just draw dicks and tits and see how many faves and watchers i get, nevermind the quality of art im already putting out.

Im sorry for my new watchers who have to read this. But to all of those people who have blown me off the past few years now that im nolonger useful to you, you know who you are.

Im so thankful to have a loving boyfriend who goes the mile for me, because sometimes i feel like hes the only one who cares.