I'm saying this in all seriousness... Sometimes I don't know why I bother waking up in the morning. I never get surprised in a good way like my car running with no problems, or the job I've been trying so hard to get actually looked at my résumé, or anything really. No. All I ever get are the bad surprises. The ones that can shatter your life just by knowing the information. Is my life not shit enough? What do I have to do to hit absolute bottom so that I don't cry anymore? I'm homeless, jobless, running low on funds, but fuck if there wasn't an earth shattering piece of information that would make it all even shittier.

I don't even know why I'm writing this journal. I never read it when other people bitch about their lives and I know no one online gives two shits. There's nothing wrong with that by the way. You don't know me so you shouldn't have any emotional investment. Just for once, one time, I want to wake up and know that today is going to be better than yesterday. Is that really too much? Is that being selfish?

Ah fuck it. Gotta return to cheerful Arty tomorrow. God forbid I talk about my problems to anyone in person because then I'm an asshole.... yay