"Never quit!"
"You've come this far and feel the pain, why stop now? Get your reward!"
"Losers only quit and winners persevere"
"Never give up"

All of these are words that mean a whole lot to a bunch of people, me as well and these are quotes and remarkable words that we hold on to at times when we feel the lowest. Bring it on! Fight! don't give up! etc etc etc.

Well shit. These quotes never came in the fact that money revolves around it as well. My professional level of accounting exams came out and it was extremely disheartening to see what I have come to. As it turns out, I got a fail. This is my third attempt and taking this subject and it's really really REALLY putting a damper on my confidence to pass this examination.

Of course now, people would be telling me to not quit and stuff. Albeit, I have two more papers to go before I am ready to set myself up to be a professional accountant and hold license as a Certified Accountant but god... this is really putting a strain on my life, my health and my mentality. Yeah, don't give up but money is a problem. This "professional" papers are like some fucked up organizational shit that eats up bundles of money! One examination cost at least one third of my salary and to add up with all of these fucking failures, it's going to cost more.

To add insult to injury, these are professional bodies where rules and regulations of the world is constantly updated and from there on, I don't know what the fucking hell has changed unless I attend classes AGAIN. I've attended these classes for one whole fucking year, learning the same thing and still fail like shit and to enter the classes again cost half of my salary.

Add up for classes plus examination fee, I'll have a measly allowance for food and less petrol for my car. It's not a joking matter when money is involves and this is my, wasting time and failing again and again.

People always say that we should learn from failure and the more we fail, the better it is and we tend to learn more. Yes, I agree. Thomas Edison did not invent the lightbulb in one night but through several trials and errors but these errors didn't really cost an arm and a leg. With the need to support myself and to save up for the future, I don't think I can go for another failure. God... I tried my best and still failed. Despite knowing the reason why, I have done what I can and have given what I have.

I just felt depressed at the moment after hearing what my results were and the consequences of these classes and what I need to do to achieve that pass. At the moment, all I want to do is just drop everything that I've learned and just die from working to death. So, does "Never give up" means something? I'd like to think that it is but with my current situation, might as well fuck it up.

And yes, nobody said that life was easy. LOL! :D