Technically, Loose Ferrets has been on hiatus since January 15th. The comic briefly, sporadically, came back in May, then tapered off in July once again. This has weighed on my creative soul greatly. Loose Ferrets was my grand accomplishment for over two years, though I was lazy in writing and other art, reading and recording, I always could hold Loose Ferrets up and say "Hey! At least I'm productive with this!"

Wyoming was a blessing and curse. I was isolated from human interaction. There was no person there my age that I could relate to, no one I could really chat with. The only reason I stayed in Wyoming as long as I did was family. They lent a foundation to which otherwise would have been a desperate situation. In some ways, it was a desperate situation. One can only chat with family about so much. I was lonely. I was occasionally depressed. I couldn't voice these concerns to my family, otherwise they would have been hurt. I needed an outlet. I needed a way to get out my thoughts. I needed a hobby. I took to walking and drawing a webcomic.

The walking helped burn off frustrations and energy. The drawing helped me feel accomplished and gave comfort to my soul. These things helped me through the first two years in Wyoming.

However, in my second year in Wyoming, things were changing for me. I started to make some good friends in Salt Lake City, despite being two hours away. So more and more weekends, I spent less time in Wyoming, and more time traveling to spend time with friends. Still, the premise of friends is strange to me. The thought that people would want to actually want to spend time with me seems unbelievable to me. For most of my life, true friends have been a foreign concept for me. I've had people I've hung out with, people I've chatted with, but rarely anyone who would go out of their way to want me to be part of their lives.

I value my friends greatly. It was this, I think, that caused the relationship with my family to fracture. The center of most my life has been family. When my family saw that I was making friends who I trusted, who I wanted to hang out with most weekends, I believe they were hurt. Hurt by the fact that there were other people I cared about, perhaps more than them. I may have missed how much it hurt them.

However, I digress.

As time went on, the main purpose of Loose Ferrets faded away. I worked on the comic to fill in the hours on something besides click through the molasses speeds of Wyoming Internet. I believe I did the comic so my weekends were not filled with introspection. Loose Ferrets, though I didn't know it at the time, was my defense mechanism to deal with my loneliness. It was nice to anthromorphize the quirks of my mind into a comic form. It was fun to see what I could do with all these characters, who were thinly veiled archetypes of my psyche. Loose Ferrets gave me something to strive towards.

Now, I am no longer lonely. I am much less depressed than I was three years back. I have great friends. I have a boyfriend who I adore very much. I live in a city, in a nice apartment on the edge of town, where I'm able to reflectively look at the mountains from any window. I have a job, which the jury is still out on if it will suit me long-term. In some ways, I'm a much different person than I was three years ago, in some ways, I'm exactly the same.

My life is not without quirks. I'm still trying to figure out who I am as both a person and an artist. I have flaws I'm trying to smooth out, or at least work to my advantage. I have responsibilities that I'm trying to balance. I may not be as optimistic and quirky as I was three years back, but I'm not as depressed and morose either. Maybe I have balanced out in some ways.

In any case, every single reason that Loose Ferrets was started has faded to the background. Don't get me wrong, I do want to continue the story, but I need to figure out how and why before I do so. Loose Ferrets is very special to me, and I want to be the artist it deserves. Yes, maybe that's code for it will never return, but I sincerely hope not. I have grand ideas for where it shall go. I'd had to leave it where it is, when there's so much I want it to do before it ends.

Loose Ferrets is a odd little personal story, of an artist trying to get by. It never had the best art. It never had a big audience. It never had the most quality writing. And yet I loved doing Loose Ferrets. No. I love doing Loose Ferrets. The ferrets will scamper on, sooner or later. It deserves the chance to keep swooping onwards.