you in one?

incidentally I don't have experience to input, your curiosity just piqued my interest..

Yes I am.
1 year and almost a half.

like I said no experience here SO

what if I turn the question to you? What makes it work, what doesn't, what you like/dislike about your partner?

If you're not inclined to answer feel free to disregard, I just figured you were up for a discussion/talk since you brought it up.

I've always found that complete honesty and trust are the two most important things for a relationship to succeed. Jealously, lack of trust, lying... all these things only lead to pain, unhappiness, and unpleasantness.

i + this
the more you get to know people, the more you'll learn to appreciate being able to trust and have honest friends as trusting people is going to be so -insanely- difficult
trust and honesty above all else, without that, nothing will ever work

To me, it means it should last a lifetime, because of a bond so great an emotional connection towards a partner nothing will break it. I've been through alot..and I don't think I can handle another one. lol.. And tbh there's going to be jealousy etc, it's apart of every relationship. But if they are willing to listen and have communication, it'll be alright.

agreed

hoping to someday soon be in one with a guy who seems perfect for me. I'm wanting to have a really close, and romantic relationship with him and be with him for many many years. he's really amazing. so.. I don't want to ever be without him one day

I guess I'm not to picky in relationships. I just like someone who is open and honest and willing to accept defeat if needed.

Honesty. Trust. Communication(I'm not a mind reader). Commitment

I think that about sums it up. Oh! And fun! There has to be some fun in there somewhere. XP

Relationships are a crutch. People, especially furries, whine and cry all the time about being lonely, and needing someone, and how their life just wouldn't be complete without that special someone.

People need to be more independent and stop relying on other people for their happiness. They need to find a way to be happy EVEN WHEN THEY AREN'T DATING SOMEONE. It's annoying to hear all the sobbing and "I'm so lonely." "FOX SEEKING MATE" bullshit. Grow a pair and learn to be independent.

This is not about being lonely or being with someone mostly...
I agree with you there.
I never asked for mine to happen, I was FINE alone.
What I'm just wonder is the other way around, IF it happened, what makes it last longer in your opinion?

Nonononono, I didn't mean you. I meant in general; people need to stop relying on others for happiness.

As for lasting longer? People go on and on about all the cliches about relationships. The loving, the caring, trust, etc.
While that's all well and good, I think it's important that you're friends above all else. You need to be able to laugh, have fun, and hang out with them. Sometimes people are so focused on the intimacies of their relationship, that they forget all about all the non-intimate parts. Which, in and of itself, can be part of the intimate relationship.

You need to have a good sense of humor, enjoy doing the same things, and have something to always keep everything fresh. You need to challenge each other intellectually. Otherwise you'll get bored of each other. Sure, you might enjoy the sex, and the snuggling, but it's not enough to keep you together.

Being able to accept the idea that we are all individuals so therefore we all have our own opinions. A lot of couples think they should think and agree upon everything even though no one can always agree. People are very opinionated just have an open mind especially to your loved one.

Meu namoro pode, praticamente, ser resumido a "Honestidade Extrema". Isso quer dizer que não é só "honestidade" como "não mentir". Mas também:

- sempre contar tudo, bom ruim, e principalmente PÉSSIMO, pra quem você ama. Fofoque mesmo, isso é sinal de confiança.
- não pensar no que dizer, simplesmente diga. Pensar leva a você processar o que falar e isso pode significar "omitir detalhes". Nunca omita nada sobre nenhum assunto.
- tente ignorar a regra acima se você estiver deprimido ou raivoso. Não confunda honestidade com linchamento verbal nem mimimi. Uma cabeça que não está calma não fala o que precisa falar.
- por mais que você tenha errado, se confesse mesmo assim. Se a pessoa realmente te ama, ela vai entender e perdoar
- e aja dessa mesma forma pra quando a culpa for do seu amor. Seja compreensivo, tente ver a situação como se você estivesse no lugar dessa pessoa.

No meu ponto de vista, um casal que, literalmente, não tem segredos entre eles, já evita os piores problemas de se manter juntos e se amando. Claro que não é só isso, mas é o que eu considero ser uma coisa bem importante pra ser feliz ;3

Mesmo que isso signifique pouco ou nada em comum?

Imaginei que fosse isso ,depois de ver umas respostas suas >w>;;

Bom, você se lembra do por que você aceitou seu namorado então?

Agora que você perguntou...
Eu me senti atraido por uma pessoa que nunca existiu...
Muitas mentiras quando tudo começou, eu sou sincero, odeio mentiras, então enquanto eu falava a verdade doque eu gostava ou deixava de gostar, eu escutava mentiras que me atraiam.

Só tirar a conclusão do meu primeiro comment então. Se não tem honestidade, tem mesmo um amor entre vocês dois? :/

Tem sim, mentiras acabaram, mas o começo foi em cima de mentiras.
Eu meio que segui um conselho de uma pessoa, e dar tempo ao tempo.

Bom saber .w. Melhor do que tomar alguma medida mais drástica >w<;; Bom, boa sorte pra vocês dois

As cheesy as it is, communication is the critical thing. The only time anything goes wrong is when things are held back.

As for likes and dislikes, I like his childish side, his intellect, and those wonderful moments where the two blend (like hour-long philosophic discussions about Star Wars). Dislikes would be his legalistic side, which leads to a lot of derailed conversations and failed communication (he thinks "we'll talk about it later" is without negative connotation).

Flexibility and communication. Those are the two main things for me. Been in a relationship for over 3 years now. :)

Most people are going to list cliches and perfection.


TRUST, COMMUNICATION, and all that kind of cheesy bullshit.







Let's be honest, there's nobody in the world ever that's completely honest, selfless, caring, etc. No matter who you're with, there are gonna be rough times in a relationship. Your ability to get over your pride every once in a while is all I'm looking for in a relationship. Someone willing to WORK with you in building a decent and lasting relationship.

People have said a lot of good things. Patience and space are other things. It's great to be entangled with every aspect of your mate's life, but without space we wouldn't be individuals in a partnership. Just because they're not volunteering information doesn't mean they're trying to hide something; sometimes they just need time to figure out what they want to say.

You can't go into a relationship expecting to fix someone. If you can't take them as they are now, you won't be able to take them later. Encouraging positive change doesn't hurt though.

Been with my mate for over 6.5 years.

That's actually what I keep telling myself, I cannot change people to fit my personality, I've gotta accept everyone the way they are.
But when it comes to a relationship, major turn offs and differences overcoming the "love" itself, I don't thinkg this could go further.

For me, a relationship just isn't a relationship if you cant have fun, trust or effort

Effort. That is by far the biggest factor in any relationship. It seems today that people simply don't realize that relationships of any kind whether it be friends, lovers, co-workers, et cetera, all take some kind of work. Some take more than others but if you wish to maintain any kind of relationship work and effort are a must.

complete openness... COMPLETE AND UTTER OPENNESS from the very beginning, with COMPLETE AND UTTER written a fucking billion times in all caps, rainbow letters, with butter and syrup slathered on every third letter... and if openness doesn't work? then it wasn't meant to be.

I've been listening to The Tom Leykis show (look him up on TuneIn) and I've learned so much.

#1: Don't have kids. Fathers have no rights what so f-ing ever in this country. One wrong word, one wrong look, what ever, YOU'RE TOAST!!!
#2: Don't get married. Husbands have no rights in this country. You never hear "they got divorced and he took half of her s#!t"... do you?
#3: Getting an STD is not as bad as getting a positive pregnancy result. Some STD can be treated, there's no cure known for child support.
ALWAYS PROTECT YOUR SELF

First thing you should worry about is your education. Your profile says you're 26, so I'm assuming you're finished with school, bravo!.
Your current priority should be working and making lots of money. Making money isn't sexy, but when you have it, that IS sexy lol.
Third, if you're going to have a relationship, make sure that you've accomplished all your goals in life first, make your self happy,
and only then (if you're willing to share half or more of everything), only then should you think about being in a relationship.

DISCLAIMER: This is just my opinion. It's not meant to be advice. It's only what has been working for me after 4 horrible, epic disasters.
If you think you know better, by all means, I wish you all the best. Just flip the coin once in a while and look at the worst things as well.
Being in ANY type of relationship is never 100% puppy love and everything else will fall into place on it's own. There's dark and ugly too.
It doesn't hurt to dip your toe in the water before you leap off the diving board. Just make sure you've checked out all the angles first!

As for love (in my personal opinion), I think it's just a chemical brain imbalance that wares off

Somehow I agree with you, I don't think such thing as "true love" exists, but people getting together and able to deal with each other forever...
So love kinda comes up after a while.
Which means, differences will totally break the shit out of it.

As for what you said:
I'm 27 currently, I have a system analysis degree, I earn 5 times more than my dad, I have lots of moneys but nothing much to spend it on.
I have a dream of having my own gamedev company, which's quite close already.
So I'm not really worried about a brilliant future or anything, I have pretty much everything I want already, and I'm not of a luxury guy.
I never looked for a relationship, it just happened, just like all my last ones.
So I'm just asking myself, what's really needed to make it work, because I think I'm too cold sometimes, and "I love you" won't really solve the differences issue.

A single word, mutualism, but in that word so many others are encompassed.

I may be a bit of a Romantic but let's get real. You can't fully love somebody until you love yourself, you are each other's greatest gift to the other (Hopefully), and how can that be if you don't value yourself?

You are bound to annoy and piss the hell out of your partner at times and they will be bound to return the favor, there was never a relationship without fighting. It's getting past them not by shoving them under the rug but with letting everything out in the light of day and dealing with it is what makes a relationship.

Most of the above could be said about just anyone, friends, family, whatever. I am not going to say that you should wait for somebody made for you, because I seriously doubt that will be the case. Instead, I want to find someone whom you can live with at their worst and cherish them at their best. Find someone who you can bring the very best out of and in return do the same for you. It's not about changing people, because you can't. People may grow and evolve but you can only work with what is there, it's all about loving what's there already and being happier together than you were apart because of it.


To me it's about striving for not owing anything to the other, in that for however many mistakes that are made there are just as many solutions attempted.

For somebody whose mother has been divorced once and remarried (And possibly divorced a second time) all of the above seems a bit hopelessly sunny, happy go lucky bull crap but that's what I would call a truely satisfying relationship.

I am not going to say that you should wait for somebody made for you, because I seriously doubt that will be the case

You got the point there, although it might exist, it's not really a common thing to see around.
Most relationships are based of 2 people who actually learned to like each other mostly, some don't even have A thing in common.
I just wonder because, I miss being able to do things both like, I'm learning to like to go outside, for movies or whatever, but the other way around doesn't seem to happen, which makes me wanting to stop doing my part.
In short, I'm just not sure if staying together with little to no common thing or just be alone for good.

"but the other way around doesn't seem to happen, which makes me wanting to stop doing my part."

Everything is give and take and if you think you are on the end of giving too much up I would make it clear to whomever your other is that it is their turn to do something you like. Unless something comes up and makes your plans inconvenient and they still don't happen you have to decide whether or not giving up more than you bargained for is worth it.

Being able to be open and honest about yourself to someone in a way that you can't always be for everyone else. Being spontaneous, being kind, being flexible and compromising, those things make a relationship work in my opinion.

You both have to be strong, understanding of each other and patient, but most importantly, you both have to know yourselves very well. And on top of that, you both have to be compatible in the first place...it's a very nuanced science

My ideal relationship is...

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10932893/ > http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9626699/ > http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10614672 ;3

Just kidding, but that certainly wouldn't hurt x3

I think like most people said already, trust and communication are really important things. I think the ability to empathize and forgive are good, too, because nobody is perfect. Really it's about commitment to working together, and if I didn't see any effort out of my partner for that, I'd say it's time to leave. We've had our little fights, but we always turn out okay and he's generally caring and sweet with me. As long as I continue seeing that, I'll think it's worth the effort to try to be together (we're long distance).

Congrats on your 1.5 years, about the same for me and my tiger ;3

I think any good relationship should be based on honesty and understanding. Communication is very important.

That being said, I think both parties being on the same level regarding the sexual side of the relationship, as well sharing common 'interests' in that area is also VERY important. This comes from personal experience, as I'm borderline asexual and have had multiple relationships crumble exclusively because of that x3